Back Funny You Should Ask Save as PDF
Chapters (54)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Epigraph
  5. Prologue
  6. Friday
  7. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part One)
  8. Then
  9. Chapter 1
  10. Chapter 2
  11. Chapter 3
  12. Chapter 4
  13. Chapter 5
  14. Chapter 6
  15. Now
  16. Chapter 7
  17. Chapter 8
  18. Chapter 9
  19. Chapter 10
  20. Saturday
  21. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Two)
  22. Then
  23. Chapter 11
  24. Chapter 12
  25. Chapter 13
  26. Chapter 14
  27. Now
  28. Chapter 15
  29. Chapter 16
  30. Chapter 17
  31. Chapter 18
  32. Sunday
  33. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Three)
  34. Then
  35. Chapter 19
  36. Chapter 20
  37. Chapter 21
  38. Now
  39. Chapter 22
  40. Chapter 23
  41. Chapter 24
  42. Chapter 25
  43. Chapter 26
  44. Chapter 27
  45. Monday
  46. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Four)
  47. Then
  48. Chapter 28
  49. Now
  50. Chapter 29
  51. Chapter 30
  52. Dedication
  53. Acknowledgments
  54. About the Author

“It’s always been my favorite holiday,” he tells me. “There’s a freedom to it—where everyone gets dressed up and pretends to be someone else and it’s not because you’re hiding or you’re deceiving, it’s because on that day we all seem to acknowledge that it’s good to put on a mask once in a while.”

He takes a long drink of his apple cider. I’m content to let it warm my hands for now, though the rich smell of apples and butter and cinnamon is just as intoxicating as the splash of whisky we added to our mugs before we came outside.

“Fortification,” Oliver told me.

We both know why I’m here, but I’m not about to rush him, because if I know anything about Oliver Matthias, it’s that he knows how to tell a story.

“I’d bet a lot of actors have an affinity for Halloween,” he says. “Though, we do it a little differently in Britain.”

I nod as if I know—I don’t. I’ve lived in the United States my entire life. My only trip abroad was to Amsterdam to visit Anne Frank’s house with my temple youth group.

Oliver has been all over the world, but has recently settled in Los Angeles, buying a house in Brentwood, up in the hills.

“It’s a good neighborhood for trick-or-treating,” he says. “Or so I’ve been told.”

This will be his first Halloween here.

“Every year I would go all in,” he says. “And that year, I wanted to go as Xena.”

He smiles, remembering.

“My mum had always made my costumes and she went all out that year. I’m one of four boys, you see, and the whole thing about a mother wanting a daughter was quite applicable.”

“Are you still close with your mother?”

He nods. “There I am, in full Xena regalia, marching down Piccadilly with my brothers, who were, of course, dressed as soldiers. They were always dressed as soldiers.”

“Technically,” I interject, “you were a soldier too.”

Oliver laughs. “Not quite,” he says. “I was a warrior.”

I stand corrected.

“There I am, full warrior mode, strutting my little heart out when—bam—I walk right into someone else. Another Xena.”

It’s easy to picture this. A young, adorable Oliver Matthias, his blue eyes glinting, his chin lifted high, too high for him to realize that he’s about to collide with someone else dressed exactly like him.

“I’m furious, of course,” Oliver says. “How dare this other Xena—this imposter—ruin my walk?”

“Of course.”

“I look up—because this person is much taller than me—and I see that this Xena is also a boy. Well, a man, really. He looks down at me, smiles, and gives me a wink. And then he’s gone.”

Oliver puts his hand to his chest.

“And I was in love.”