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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

‘She’s all right,’ he says. ‘At least she says she is. Stubborn as ever. Let’s talk about it later. We don’t want to upset the boy.’

In the living room, Dora’s sitting on the sofa, a book of word-search puzzles on her lap. To her obvious pleasure, Evan is sitting beside her, holding her hand.

Matt crosses to her and kisses her cheek. Her face is undeniably thinner, and the bones at the base of her throat are prominent.

‘How are you doing, you old attention-seeker?’ he asks. ‘You look pretty well to me.’

‘I’m all right,’ she says. ‘A bit tired. Just feeling my age, aren’t I, love?’ She squeezes Evan’s hand. ‘I’m hoping you might help me a bit with these puzzles, and I’m sorry to say your grandpa’s threatening to cook tea.’

The ghost of a smile touches Evan’s eyes and the corners of his mouth.

‘I shall make a good job of it, too,’ says Jack, mock-indignantly. ‘Sausages, chips and beans, and maybe an egg if you’re lucky. And I’m commandeering your dad to peel potatoes. Dora, my love, you’ll be ready for a cup of tea, and Evan, you’ll be wanting something cold. But you stay where you are and look after your grandma. I’ll get your dad to bring it through.’

Outside the open kitchen window, the perfume of the honeysuckle which clings to the old stone wall mingles with the smell of straw from the barn, and the sharp, familiar stink of sheep. The window looks on to the rose garden, where Dora planted the first bushes just after Matt was born. Over the years, she’s nurtured it to an immaculately cared-for Eden, and Matt’s troubled to see some of the blooms have browning petals, while others are dead and dried. On the path, the secateurs lying in a trug are spotted with the beginnings of rust.

Matt pops the cap off a bottle of Sam Smith’s.

‘You want one?’

He takes another from the fridge, and hands it to his father. A red kite is wheeling over Blackmire Ridge, in a sky that’s still bright as midday.

‘So,’ says Matt. ‘Tell me.’

Jack takes a drink of his beer.

‘It’s been a bad week,’ he says. ‘Here, start on these potatoes. I blame myself for letting it get this far.’

Matt hunts for a peeler in the drawer, which is a confusion of his mother’s lifetime collection of cooking implements: knives and graters, wooden spoons, spatulas and whisks.

‘What do you mean, “this far”? What’s the story?’