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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

In her mind, Claire runs an inventory of the state of the housekeeping. There’s laundry in various conditions in the kitchen and utility – waiting for washing, waiting for drying, waiting for ironing, waiting to be put away – and even though it would be dinner-time in a normally functioning household, she’s yet to tackle the dishes left over from breakfast. The carpets need vacuuming, the bathrooms need cleaning and the kitchen floor needs a mop. Without thinking about it in any detail, there’s enough to keep her going an entire weekend.

She takes up a position which blocks the door, stopping Annabelle from seeing into the hallway.

‘What is it you want?’ she asks.

‘Just a little chat, really,’ says Annabelle. She lays her head on one side, another charming gesture which might work on some men. ‘We think our readers would be really interested in your story, in the feel-good aspects of it. You know, your son back home with you, how you feel about that, how it is to be a family again.’

Entirely of their own accord, Claire’s eyebrows lift.

‘Are you serious?’ she asks.

Annabelle misses the incredulity in her tone.

‘Readers would love to hear how it’s been,’ she says. ‘There’d be a fee of some kind, of course.’

Claire reflects on how it’s been: her silent son, her absent husband, the sense of everything still as irreparably broken as it ever was.

She produces her own version of Annabelle’s insincere smile.

‘I don’t mean to be rude,’ she says, ‘but why don’t you just fuck off?’

Late afternoon, and the motorways have been left far behind. They’re passing through open country glorious with summer, where sheep are grazing amongst the upland bracken, and rivers sparkle in valleys where wildflowers colour their banks.

This tranquil beauty is balm for the soul, and Matt realises he’s missed it. Evan seems to be enjoying the scenery. Maybe he’s missed it, too.

At the turn for Ainsclough Top, the stream where Evan used to fish runs under a bridge. Matt slows the car, allowing Evan a view of the clear water where wild cresses flourish.

‘I expect you could find time to come down here with your net while we’re here, see what you can catch.’

Immediately Matt regrets saying it, thinking Evan’s far too old now for such childish things. Evan’s solemn face doesn’t move, but as they turn up the track towards the farm, he looks back over his shoulder, and his eyes, it seems to Matt, are on the stream.

Jack’s waiting, smiling, at the door. As they get out of the car, Matt looks for signs of worry in his face, but there’s nothing to see. Evan walks straight up to his grandpa, gives him the briefest of hugs and goes inside the house.

‘How’s Mum?’ asks Matt, and Jack shrugs.