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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

He senses by the hesitation in her voice, by the softness of her tone – as if she’s reached out for his hand, though it’s been a long time since she’s done that – that something’s coming, something he realises in that moment he’s been expecting. He wants to look at her, to judge from her expression what she’s thinking, but he’s afraid his own face might give something away. Better keep it light, non-committal.

‘That’s me.’

‘There’s something else I want to say. I feel I’ve already lost my son, for the time being at least, and I’d be devastated if I lost you, too. I’m not losing you, am I?’

He turns on the hot tap, and doesn’t look round as he rinses the plates, so she doesn’t see the slight blush colouring his cheeks. He thinks of Dora’s words, her insistence that he and Claire should work things out. When he turns to her, he’s smiling.

‘Of course not. Why would you think that? We’re a team, you and me, always have been.’

She’s watching him earnestly, and her eyes are travelling over his face, reading his features for clues, figuring out if he’s telling the truth.

He keeps his eyes steady and maintains the smile, then shuts it down in case it’s gone on too long, not sure he’s prepared for the scrutiny of this newly sober Claire.

‘What do you think,’ he says, ‘that after all this, I’d give up on us? You know me better than that, don’t you? Didn’t you mention pudding? I’m ready for something sweet. How about cutting us a piece of that chocolate tart?’

TWENTY-FOUR

TWENTY-FOUR

16 August

‘Look what I’ve got.’

Evan’s on the sofa next to Dora, helping her with word-search puzzles. He’s sitting very close but not quite touching her, his knees drawn up and wrapped round with his arms as he used to do when a very small boy. Dora is holding back, letting Evan do most of the work. When he finds a word, she hands him the pen to draw a line through it, and when he’s drawn his line, he hands the pen back.

Jack’s holding a fishing net on a bamboo pole, and a large pickle jar.

‘Well,’ says Dora, ‘where on earth did you find those?’

‘In your shed. There’s treasure beyond measure in there.’

‘I should have a clear-out, shouldn’t I?’

‘I’m glad you haven’t. It’s been too long since I’ve been fishing, and you know what they say, you’re never too old to do the things you love. What do you say, Evan? Are you going to keep me company?’

Evan looks at Dora, as if he’s reluctant to leave her.