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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

‘The signs were there, the lack of appetite, the weight loss. But we were wrapped up in other things, weren’t we? We were worrying about Evan.’ As Jack’s talking, he’s laying sausages in a pan, big, fat Cumbrian sausages from the village butcher. He turns on a hotplate on the old stove and puts the frying pan on the heat. ‘Then she was sick, and said it was nothing. She was sick again, and I caught her taking pills for the pain in her stomach. Turns out it’s been going on a while.’

‘How long is a while?’

‘A year. Maybe longer.’

Matt lays the peeler on the table. He looks distressed.

‘Bloody hell, Dad. A year? Why didn’t she say?’

‘She thought we all had enough on our plates. Which of course we did, but now it looks like we’ve got two plates instead of one. We got the scan results yesterday. That’s why I rang you. I didn’t want to burden you until we were sure.’

‘What’s the prognosis?’

Jack stares out of the window. He lowers his chin to his chest.

‘Don’t ask me that, son,’ he says. ‘Let’s take it one day at a time.’

Dora, Matt notices, eats very little – a few slices of sausage, a spoonful of baked beans, a piece of dry toast Jack has made her instead of chips.

Evan has cleared his plate, and instead of disappearing, has stayed to watch a DVD Jack has found.

‘Only Fools and Horses?’ asks Matt. ‘Bit retro, isn’t it?’

‘There’s nothing wrong with retro,’ says Jack. ‘Some things stand the test of time.’

The comedy takes Matt back to boyhood, to the age where Evan is now. Evan’s holding Dora’s hand, and as he watches the screen, he begins to smile, a cautious, hesitant smile, as if he’s trying on something that used to be a comfortable fit, as if he’s rediscovered something precious but isn’t sure it’s meant for him. The gags come thick and fast, and Matt finds himself smiling too. Jack loads up another episode, a Christmas special. Matt has seen it several times and remembers it well, but it still entertains.

And at the high spot, in the famous moment when Del Boy, fancying his chances with a couple of girls, loses his cool falling through a gap in the bar, a miracle occurs.

Evan laughs.