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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

But Rose is biding her time and doesn’t react. The silence grows long, and as it lengthens, it absorbs the pressure they’re all feeling and becomes more comfortable. Then Evan reaches out, draws the paper towards him and, opening up the wallet, chooses a pen with bright red ink.

Uncapping the pen, he positions the tip in the top left-hand corner of the paper and, forming the biggest letters the sheet will hold, slowly and deliberately writes a single word: NO.

He seems somehow pleased with it. Turning the page, he writes it again: NO.

The third time he writes it, he scribbles an underline, pressing so hard with the pen, he rips the paper.

NO NO NO.

Naylor stares at the torn paper and thinks what Rose asked him to do, to draw something he remembers.

‘I think that’s enough for today, sweetheart,’ says Rose quietly.

Naylor’s only too happy to agree. The guilt she was feeling has trebled, and she knows she’s let Evan down. On his behalf, she should have stood up to Campbell, and never allowed this interview to take place.

NINETEEN

NINETEEN

10 August

Claire pours the last of the Chablis into her glass. On the TV, someone on EastEnders is shouting at someone else, and it occurs to her she’s no idea who these characters are. It isn’t that she’s lost track of the plot, more that she’s never cared, and all it’s ever been – for weeks and months – is background noise she took for company. But shouting isn’t company, and even after a glass or two of wine, she’s switched on enough to realise that people shouting isn’t what Evan needs to hear, even at the remove of his bedroom. She has a thought, that maybe it would be nice to watch something together – something funny, or David Attenborough, or he used to enjoy Top Gear.

She goes to the foot of the stairs. Upstairs is silent and the landing is dark, so she switches on the light; if Evan needs the bathroom, she doesn’t want him to open his door on to darkness. She thinks of calling up to him, of trying to persuade him to come down, but she knows he’ll be reluctant. What, in any case, is the point? Maybe he’ll come and sit with her, but he won’t speak. He’s living inside his head, hiding from them all, coming down for food and leaving when he’s eaten. On good days, he touches her shoulder as he goes – maybe as a thank you – before heading back upstairs to shut himself away.