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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

‘You go on, love,’ she says. ‘I’ll have a little nap. You can help me finish this one when you come back.’

The photo of Jack and young Evan with his jar of sticklebacks is still by the phone. As they walk by it, the picture they would make now would be very different. There are physical differences, of course – Evan isn’t smiling, and he’s getting closer to matching his grandfather’s height – but there’s a delightful simplicity in the photo which has been wiped away, smashed like a mallet taken to fine porcelain. It’s Jack’s hope that maybe something remains amongst the shards of what’s been broken, a pearl left undamaged, ready to be found.

As they walk down the track, Evan’s feet are hot in his wellingtons. Millie’s trotting at their heels, breaking away from time to time to sniff what she finds interesting in the verges. The day is warm again, the long grass and cow parsley growing against the grey-stoned walls ruffled by a breeze which blows Evan’s hair into his eyes.

Jack notices Evan’s hair is getting long as Evan pushes it back behind his ears, and it occurs to him that someone must have been cutting his hair while he was gone. Before he was taken, there were trips to the barber’s every four weeks, just Evan and Matt on Saturday mornings, Evan in the chair first while Matt read a magazine, then Evan given a comic while Matt took his turn. Who cut his hair when he was away from them? Was it a woman or a man? Was it done kindly and with care? Such a minor thing raises questions it’s not his place to ask, and he pushes the thought away, not truly wanting to know. What concerns them is Evan’s care now. He’ll ask Dora to find her scissors and have a go, if Evan will allow it.

There are crickets singing in the grass, and overhead a skylark’s risen, singing its heart out. Jack points up at it, and Evan follows his finger, straining to see the tiny spot in the sky.

‘See that? She’s a crafty bird. We’ve startled her and got too close to her nest, so now she’s creating a distraction. She’s over there, so you know the one place you won’t find her nest is directly below her. Over there, or over there maybe. But she’s drawing our attention from her little ones with that beautiful song, and here we are, looking and listening. That’s quite a trick Mother Nature gave her, isn’t it?’