“An’ that’s good?”

“It’s miraculous, really. Especially because you did it again when my eagles attacked you. That’s why Sinna chose you as New Dawn’s next novice. And, as usual, she was proved right when your gold leaf appeared after only a single full dose of godsblood.”

“It wasn’t so good fer my ma though, was it?” She couldn’t keep the edge out of her voice. “If I’d jest smacked into the ground like I was s’posed to, she’d still be alive.”

“And you’d be dead or unable to walk. Do you think your mother would want that? She knew she didn’t use magic, and yet she never denied guilt, did she?”

“Oh gods,” Perfidy said. She suddenly felt weak in the knees, and it was all she could do to steer herself to the ground without falling flat on her face one more time. “She knew I was the one…she pretended it was her so they wouldn’t…”

“Yes, she protected you to the very end. She did what any good mother would do for their child.”

Perfidy glared daggers at him. “I didn’t ask her to do that! I didn’t ask fer any o’ this! I jest wanted to live my life with her in it, in our house with a roof that didn’t leak in a world without godsblood or magic or any o’ it! Was that too much to ask fer? Was it?”

The urge to take off rose in her again, a dark tide breaking on a bleak shore, but she forced it down. “I’m…sorry,” Jereb said.

“Whut do ye have to be sorry ’bout? Ye had nuthin’ to do with any of it.”

“It’s something people say.”

“Why? It means nuthin’.”

“It means…I wish things had gone differently for you and your mother.”

“But does it change anythin’?” She shook her head bitterly. “No, course not. It cain’t. Ye cain’t change the past an’ ye cain’t bring the dead back to life.”

She stood, shouldering past him as she headed toward the sleeping quarters. Then she stopped, eyes widening and mouth twisting as something occurred to her. She spun around to find Jereb watching her curiously, his own expression a miasma of concern and guilt. “Ye’ll told me that story ’bout Sinna bein’ All Powerful ’fore, how she made her big ol’ sideways hole an’ sucked poor, stoopid Twice Goran into it, never to be seen from agin.”

“Yes, we only wanted you to understand the risks of consuming too much godsblood.”

“Don’ care ’bout that. What I care ’bout is that Sinna is the strongest o’ yer entire lot, aye? Used to be one o’ those fancy Forsworn Guardians or whatever.”

“She was one of the Sightless,” Jereb corrected. “Sorry, but I still don’t understand what you’re getting at.”