“Is it ’cause yer part-deaf or jest a bit addled in the mind?” Jereb had maneuvered his way behind Lady Brenner and was now gesticulating at Perfidy wildly, trying to tell her something. She ignored him, continuing where she left off. “My third cousin twice removed—or was it thrice?—don’ matter, Lucy was her name, that don’ really matter neither, least as far as the story goes, though I suspect her name would very much matter to her…Ma always said I add too many extemporaneous details to my tales. How’s that fer a learned word, eh? Ex-tem-por-an-e-ous. Sounds like the name o’ a legendary sword, don’ it? Course it does. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, Lucy, she was dumb as a box o’ rocks, though Ma said it wasn’t polite to say so, at least not in Lucy’s company, but she was. Couldn’t name the sun from the moon an’ could only count to five if ye gave her the first handful o’ numbers. No shame in it, Ma said, jest the way she was born. Were ye born as slow as a snail’s breath too, ma’am?”

By that point, Lady Brenner’s face had turned as bright red as a ripe tomato, while Jereb was still dancing his strange jig behind her, making all sorts of odd hand motions that made it look like he was cutting off his own head. “Well, I never,” she spluttered.

“Never whut? There are lots o’ things I’ve never done but would like to. Take a voyage on a ship, fer one. Ma said that’s a nutty thing to want, especially considerin’ all sailors are roughnecks who cain swear a blue streak, but I reckon’ I could teach ’em a few curses they ain’t never heard ’fore, jest anuther gift my daddy gave me ’fore the bastard left us high an’ dry.”

If anything, Lady Brenner’s face had grown even redder, and Perfidy was beginning to worry she was choking on her own tongue.

“Are ye, alright, ma’am? Might want to dunk yer head in a bucket o’ cold water or sumthin’.”

At that moment, Jereb leapt like a gazelle out from behind Lady Brenner and placed himself bodily between them, like a human wall. “Whelp, that does it for introductions. Lady Marin asked me to introduce you two and I’ve done it, so we’d best get on with the rest of the tour. I trust you’ll have a bed made up with fresh linens for Miss Tress, my lady?” He didn’t wait for a response before nudging her back inside the door and slamming it shut. He pressed his back to it, eyes wide as he breathed through his nose.

“That was rather rude o’ ye, wasn’t it? We were jest beginnin’ to git acquainted.”