Back Expectation: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. London Fields
  5. 2010
  6. Hannah
  7. Cate
  8. Lissa
  9. Cate
  10. Abjections
  11. Hannah
  12. Lissa
  13. Soulmates
  14. Cate
  15. Lissa
  16. Hannah
  17. Resistance
  18. Cate
  19. Lissa
  20. Hannah
  21. True North
  22. Cate
  23. Lissa
  24. Hannah
  25. London
  26. Lissa
  27. Cate
  28. Lissa
  29. Hannah
  30. Bras
  31. Cate
  32. Hannah
  33. Cate
  34. Hannah
  35. Cate
  36. Hannah
  37. Lissa
  38. Hannah
  39. Lissa
  40. Hens
  41. Cate
  42. Hannah
  43. Lissa
  44. Hannah
  45. Cate
  46. Lissa
  47. Hannah
  48. Epithalamium
  49. Lissa
  50. Hannah
  51. Cate
  52. Lissa
  53. Hannah
  54. Lissa
  55. Hannah
  56. Cate
  57. Lissa
  58. Hannah
  59. Lissa
  60. 2012
  61. Hannah
  62. London Fields
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. Also by Anna Hope
  66. About the Publisher

Presently she hears a shout and looks up to see Cate, dressed in a light summer dress, and a young girl of five or so coming towards her. Lissa sees Cate pause, bend to the girl and point, reminding her, no doubt, who this tall woman with the short fair hair is, because Lissa has never met Cate’s daughter, born the year after she left for good.

“This is Poppy,” says Cate, when they have hugged hello. “She’s been excited to meet you. I told her you used to be an actress. She loves to perform.”

“Ah,” says Lissa, “yes, a long time ago.” And she kneels beside Poppy, a round-faced, smiling child, and asks the right questions, listening as the girl chatters about her ballet classes, about the play she did last Christmas at school.

Another call, and they turn, and here is Hannah, coming from the pool, with her own daughter walking beside her—a tall six-year-old, another child that Lissa has never met, a girl with the look of her mother—the same sleekness, the same dark hair, the same graveness of expression. “Clara,” says Hannah, “this is Lissa.” Hannah and her daughter take their places on the blanket and the food is taken out and smiled over and dug into.

The talk, though, is only small talk, and Lissa, who has been imagining this moment for weeks, for years—feels a creeping sense of disappointment. Somehow she had hoped for more. But what, truly, can there be to say to each other, after all this time? Small talk is small, but the inroads to intimacy were savaged years ago. And who is to blame for that?

But then, as the afternoon deepens, as the wine is drunk and the light thickens, the women start to relax. They talk about the old days. They raise a toast to the old house. Hannah asks Lissa about her life in Mexico, and Lissa tells her about her job, teaching English in a language school, about the city she has grown to love, the mornings when she takes herself to a café with her laptop and sits and writes. Small moments, really, but they make her feel alive. And as Lissa talks, carving the air with her hands, Hannah feels a part of herself unfurl, just as she did that first time she met her—Lissa carries color in her, she always did, and Hannah feels herself drawn a little closer, warming herself at the small fire of her old friend.