Back Expectation: a Novel
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. London Fields
  5. 2010
  6. Hannah
  7. Cate
  8. Lissa
  9. Cate
  10. Abjections
  11. Hannah
  12. Lissa
  13. Soulmates
  14. Cate
  15. Lissa
  16. Hannah
  17. Resistance
  18. Cate
  19. Lissa
  20. Hannah
  21. True North
  22. Cate
  23. Lissa
  24. Hannah
  25. London
  26. Lissa
  27. Cate
  28. Lissa
  29. Hannah
  30. Bras
  31. Cate
  32. Hannah
  33. Cate
  34. Hannah
  35. Cate
  36. Hannah
  37. Lissa
  38. Hannah
  39. Lissa
  40. Hens
  41. Cate
  42. Hannah
  43. Lissa
  44. Hannah
  45. Cate
  46. Lissa
  47. Hannah
  48. Epithalamium
  49. Lissa
  50. Hannah
  51. Cate
  52. Lissa
  53. Hannah
  54. Lissa
  55. Hannah
  56. Cate
  57. Lissa
  58. Hannah
  59. Lissa
  60. 2012
  61. Hannah
  62. London Fields
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. Also by Anna Hope
  66. About the Publisher

“You should go south,” he says.

For a moment she thinks he means the South: the hot South. Sun and sea and warmth on the skin.

“Go down to Ronaldsay,” he says, “see the tomb there. The Tomb of the Eagles. On the cliffs there. That’s wild. That’s a good one to see before you go.”

She looks down at her hand, fiddles with her ring, but her ring is not there. The man looks at her finger, then back up at Hannah’s face.

She is aware, in the moment, that an invitation has been extended. Aware of a conflicting set of emotions, the answering leap of desire.

Is this how it was? With Lissa and Nathan? Was it spoken or unspoken? Did they think of her, before they crossed the line?

“Is that your wife?” she says.

“Where?” He looks startled.

“There.” She reaches in, takes his phone, turns it over and presses the button on the side. There she is, a young woman, squinting into the light, a child of four or so before her.

The man looks down at his phone, back up at Hannah. “That’s her,” he says.

“So what are you doing here?” She is furious now, hissing her words. “Talking to me?”

He takes the phone from her, looks at the photograph briefly.

“She’s dead,” he says. “She died a year ago.”

“Oh.” It is as though he has kicked her in the stomach. “God.”

“It’s all right,” he says. “It’s not your fault.”

He looks away, to the rain-washed harbor, then back again.

“Anyway,” he says, “I didn’t come here to talk about my wife.”

She is silent. And then, without anything more being said, something is agreed.

They ride up in the lift. She watches his hand press the button for the second floor. His thick fingers. His wide palms. He leads the way down the hallway and she follows, half a step behind. He opens the door, then steps back to let her enter, and for a moment she feels a sharp slice of fear—he could be anyone—but then the fear dissolves. He goes to turn the light on, but she puts her hand on his wrist. “No,” she says. “Keep it dark.”

THE VISITORS’ CENTER at the Tomb of the Eagles is staffed by a soft-voiced woman. The woman speaks about the tomb, about how it was found on her father’s land, a mile or so from where she and her family live today. About the human remains that were found there—no skeletons, only jumbled bones, thousands upon thousands of them. About the eagle talons found among them. About the theory that the bodies were left out to be eaten by the birds. Like the sky burials of Tibet. How only the clean bones were saved.

“Excarnation,” the woman says in her soft voice.

“Excarnation,” says Hannah, tasting it. A new word.