“No luck,” he said. “It’s chaos over there. Stupid to even try. The princess is missing—of course it’s madness. But—” And he handed me the Clarion. “There is some good news. You did it.” My photo was on the front page: a line of broken othersiders; the Shield standing in front of them. “You exposed him. Showed the world his face.”

My stomach clenched. “I did exactly what he wanted me to do.”

“Maybe. But now that we know who he is, we can fight back. He released a statement, outlining his goals. He wants the queen to abdicate, he wants to break all othersiders, he wants to destroy all monsters in the city.”

I took the paper, read it fast. I turned the page; tucked inside was a flyer. A propaganda-style image that showed a deep blue rendering of the Shield towering over a bloodred city skyline, with the words “The Truth Will Be Revealed” across the top. At the bottom it said:

“What Queen Carmen doesn’t want you to know is what will be her undoing”

Radha came in, her bright red sari instantly making me smile.

“How’s Quang?” I asked.

“He’s amazing,” she said. “Still trying to run his restaurant like . . . nothing happened. He jokes like any other day, but when you look in his eyes you can see the pain. Connor will cheer him up, I hope.”

“Solomon, outside with me,” Niv said.

We went. A banner hung from a nearby tree, for the upcoming Unmasking Day celebration. Happy kids in dinosaur masks. I remembered being a happy kid. Even if I’d also been a miserable one.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“This,” Niv said, and kissed me on the mouth.

My body betrayed me, and I kissed him back. My lips were greedy, selfish bastards. I wanted to pull away, push him back, but when his arms wrapped around me, my own wrapped around him.

I kissed him for a long time. And then I said, without moving, “Stop.”

“Why?” he said.

“Because I can’t.”

“So?”

“So I don’t feel the same way about you,” I said.

“With all due respect, Mr. Front Page Photographer, that’s bullshit.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“You’re telling me you don’t feel anything right now?”

It took me so long to say Nothing that I knew he knew I was lying.

“Fine,” he said. “I get it.”

“You don’t,” I said.

“Then explain it to me.”

“I can’t.”

Our arms were still around each other.

“Is it about me?” he asked. “Or about you?”

“Little bit of both.”

I tried my best not to look him in the eye when I finally stepped away. But I couldn’t help it. His eyes were wet and wide with surprise, with sadness. When he tried to smile, it just made it worse.

In that moment, I felt the thing they called me.

I felt like a monster.