“Oh, I peeled all those off. I thought they looked tacky.” Oh, for fuck’s sake.

I sat down with the parts description booklet and tried to relabel all the parts. Once that was done, Milan kept needing help with one more step. Then another. Then another. But she never actually did anything. She just sat and pointed as I put the whole damned thing together. Over two hours later, it was complete.

Milan lay back on the floor and said, “I’m exhausted,” as I tried to refrain from rolling my eyes. Then she sat up with a huge smile on her face. “Axel, come here. The baby is moving.”

I crawled over and put my hand on her stomach but didn’t feel anything. “Hold on. It might be easier to feel if your hand is directly on me,” she said, lifting her shirt so high the bottoms of her bare breasts were exposed. “Right here, I think I feel a foot.” She dragged my hand up to the top of her small belly, letting the bottom of her heavy breast lay across the back of my hand. She held her hand over mine when I tried to move it away, but I really wasn’t feeling anything.

“Maybe when he gets a little bigger, I’ll be able to feel it,” I said, discomfort filling my veins until I finally pulled my hand away.

“Oh, gosh. Wait! You have to feel this. His head is down here,” she said, lowering her pants a little and grabbing my hand. She put it so low on her bare stomach that it was disturbingly close to her crotch. “It’s so miraculous, Axel. I’m so glad we’re sharing this baby together.”

I wrenched my hand away and said, “Yeah, it’s great, but I really need to get going. This was only supposed to take a minute, and it’s been hours.”

Her bottom lip began trembling, and she fell forward against my chest. “I’m so scared, Axel, and I just don’t think you’re as excited about our baby as I am.”

I patted her back, trying not to roll my eyes as I mumbled comforting things to her. These goddamn pregnancy hormones were a bitch and a half. I finally made the excuse that I had practice in the morning and managed to extricate myself from the apartment. Jesus fucking hell.