Turned out I did have a shred of self-esteem left but he’d just torn it off, chewed it up and spat it out on the carpet. He digitally pinned back my avatar’s ears and immediately, it didn’t look like my head anymore.

‘Wow, yeah, let’s do more of that shit.’

‘Some rhinoplasty will shave off the little hump you have here.’ He smoothed the bridge of my nose with the end of his pen. ‘This should soften things up and change your facial dynamic. The bone at the end – we will shave it down to give you a little turn-up. It will all be incremental – little changes, week by week, until you are transformed. You will look like a different girl.’

‘Good.’

He did the thing on the digital face and changed it with a quick tweak. Rhiannon Lewis had gone in the click of a mouse.

‘That’s fantastic. Is that it?’

‘No,’ he replied flatly. ‘I would also recommend bringing forward your hairline a quarter of an inch as well, removing these moles here and here,’ he said, pointing them out on my neck, ‘and your scars, of course. You mention in your form that you are interested in permanent eye colouration?’

‘Yeah, do you do that here?’

‘No.’ He sucked in a breath. ‘There are risks with any type of surgery and this type of surgery is still under-tested. I will not touch it yet. Everything else, I can pretty much tell you what to expect, what aftercare you will need, what painkillers et cetera. In my opinion, I would not take the risk with your eyes. Continue to use lenses. Your sight is too precious.’

‘That’s good advice,’ I said.

‘So, we will do a couple more consultations to firm up all the procedures you would like to have. Are you sure you would you like to proceed?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Can we start with the tummy tuck?’

I was in a better mood all the way back to the Hacienda – level, confident, sort of excited. I had been low-key scared about the prospect of surgery but with no option to stay at the Hacienda, it was my only chance of sanctuary in this strange, unsettling new world of mine. I was looking forward to the tummy tuck in particular – for weeks I’d had to stare down at the forlorn, floppy sack of meat that had held Ivy inside me for months. And now she was gone, I wanted it gone too. Another step forward in my quest to forget her completely.

On the way back, now and again Paco would turn down the radio and say something provocative.

‘I shot a coyote last night. Right between the eyes. Two shots.’

‘Lovely.’

‘Biggest animal I shot was a grey wolf. Must have been 180 pounds.’

‘Thrillsville.’

‘Hey, Rhiannon, did Tenoch show you the picture of the heads?’

Deep sigh. ‘The what?’