‘Book a cruise for two people for two weeks? That’ll cost a fortune!’

‘You said money weren’t a problem. I mean, faking your death would be cheaper if you wanted to go down that road—’

‘—no, I don’t want to die. Not yet anyway.’

‘Right, so book it.’

‘Won’t they be suspicious of a lone woman getting off a cruise midway?’

‘Not if you book a partial cruise, no. Tell them you want to sail to Madeira, then hop off and say you and your husband intend to rejoin the ship at, say, Barcelona or somewhere. No, Italy. Rome, Civitavecchia. By the time you’re due to rejoin the voyage, you’ll be well gone and the dibble won’t have a clue. How up the shoot are yer?’

‘Do you mean my pregnancy? I’m thirty-three weeks. Ish.’

‘What’s that in English?’

‘Nearly eight months.’

‘Pad it out for now so you look dead fat. And we’ll need to get documents sorted for it when t’time comes. Any friends or family?’

‘No, I don’t have any.’

‘You must do.’

‘Well, there’s Seren and Marnie but—’

‘Don’t go near their social media and don’t google yourself. Once they know you’re gone that’s something they’ll monitor. The dibble have got software that’ll intercept key words and search patterns. They’ll tap into any search they think you’ll make.’

For a crusty, he was quite internet savvy. I was impressed. He’d clearly talked someone through this before. ‘What will happen exactly when I get to you?’

‘I’ll sort it, don’t worry. I’ll make some calls today. You get yourself to my gaff. You can play purser on my yacht while you lie low, get your sea legs and then we’ll get you gone. All right, cock?’

‘Gone where?’

‘South America, most likely. I’ve got a few contacts who owe me favours. I’ll see what I can sort out. You changed your image yet?’

‘I bought a wig and some lenses for my passport. Keston got me an Australian one. If I go somewhere remote, I might not need surgery though?’

‘Oh, you will. If you’re as hot property as you say, and you want to re-integrate, you’re gonna need a new face. It don’t hurt for long. You have to wear bandages for a few weeks. You’ll look hangin’ for a bit but once they come off, you’ll look and feel mint. Like, brand new and that. You’ll still feel like yer a hundred and fucking eighty but you’ll look dead good, swear down.’

‘Great.’

‘But before that, the more immediate stuff is a case of adapting. You’ve got to change every habit for a new one, swear down. Become someone else quick as you can, like.’

‘How? How do I change every habit?’