“The light in your eyes has died out.” Dadu gently touches my cheek. “Myra, darling, please don’t let your parents stop you. If you want to study English, do it. Be happy.”

“It’s not that easy,” I say and dig the heels of my palms into my eyes before the tears can flow. “They’ll hate me, Dadu. They’ll never forgive me.”

“To hell with your parents,” she says, and it would be funny if I wasn’t on the brink of a mental breakdown. “I can’t believe after everything, your dad would—no. I guess I can. Ever since he married...” She takes a deep breath. “Regardless. Listen to me, you can’t let them make your decisions for you. It’s your life, not theirs. I believe in your future. Do you?”

I’m silent. I don’t know what to say in response.

“Myra? Is this really what you want?” she asks quietly.

I exhale shakily and lower my hands. “More than anything. Does it matter?”

Dadu makes a decision then. I see it in the set of her jaw and the fierce glint in her eyes. “Of course it does. Myra, if you want this, you have to fight for it. But that doesn’t mean you have to fight alone.”

I stare at her, trying to make sense of those words. “You think I should try again? But what if—what if I make things worse?”

“How can it get worse?” Dadu asks gently. “I know you’re scared, but you’ve always been so strong, and I know you can do anything you set your mind to.” Her eyes are filled with an understanding that I almost wish wasn’t there. It strikes a flame of hope in my heart that would be better left unlit.

Again, a voice in my head chants, Do it, do it, do it.

Dadu is right. How can it get worse? What more do my parents have to take from me?

I take a deep breath and nod. This is my last chance to be brave. I want to be a lionheart. “Okay. One more time. I want to try.”

“Then we’ll try,” Dadu says, squeezing my hand before leaving the room.

When she comes back, it’s with both my parents. She locks the door and gestures for them to sit on her bed.

“Go ahead, Myra,” she says, squeezing my shoulder in encouragement.

I clear my throat and meet my parents’ eyes. “I want to be an English major. I know we already talked about it before, but I—”

“This again?” Ma narrows her eyes. “Myra, we already told you no. How dare you bring this up again? And in front of your Dadu? Do you have no shame?”

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

I am a spark. I am a blaze. I am an inferno.