BooksBarbecue
Back Counting Down with You
Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Praise
  4. Booklist
  5. Dedication
  6. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  7. Part 1
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. Part 2
  28. 20
  29. 21
  30. 22
  31. 23
  32. 24
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. Part 3
  43. 34
  44. 35
  45. 36
  46. 37
  47. 38
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. 49
  59. 50
  60. 51
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I want to go prom with him, like any other teenage girl. I want to look across a dance floor and see him walking toward me, holding twin cups of punch. I want to slow dance with him under flickering lights, the sound of our heartbeats echoing in our ears. I want it all.

I’m willing to lie to my parents and hide our relationship from them if that’s what it takes. I was afraid at first, but the longer I go without speaking to Ace, the more certain I am that this is something I don’t want to lose.

Studying English is something I can’t do without confronting my parents, without fighting them over my future, but this thing with Ace doesn’t have to be.

This can be mine and mine alone.

when prometheus promised us fire

did he know it would live inside your eyes?

did he know I would turn to ashes

to keep that flame alive?

I will kindle all that remains

even if my skin becomes a torch

even if my mouth tastes like a dying sun

I will burn for you

I will burn for you

I will burn for you

If he’s okay with limitations on our relationship, if he’s okay with understanding that, until we get to college, this is something we’ll have to be careful with, then there’s no reason for me to sit by and let these feelings pass without acting on them.

I didn’t think I had it in me to be this brave. But after everything, I know I don’t have any other choice.

I have to be brave.

For my own happiness.

The competition ends too quickly. I look up and realize Samir’s team won.

I guess it’s not that surprising, because he is smart, but I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like if he lost. I wonder if my parents would care. Maybe they’d yell at him instead of me for once.

When we get home, I head to my room, but Samir stops me. His expression makes me uneasy. “What, Samir?”

“I’m sorry, Myra Apu,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you’d get in trouble because of what I said. I should’ve realized they’d be upset because Ace is a dude, but I figured it wasn’t that deep. I thought as long as I kept the crush thing to myself, it’d be fine. That was my bad. I’m sorry. Really.”

My resentment falters. I wasn’t expecting an apology, but I realize a small part of me hoped for one. I’m both surprised and relieved.

“Thank you for apologizing,” I say quietly.