I am looking at a video of my husband with his lady-whore. It looks like Hubby darling has developed a new hobby of making phone videos. There are five videos of them doing it all over the place. You won’t see his face in any but you will see every bit of her body. And you will hear her calling out his name. She screams it out, too, in some places.

Why am I writing about ‘you’ seeing every bit of her body? Oh, because you will see them soon. But before the show, there has to be the thank you credits.

First: Thank you Hubby for being you. If it hadn’t been for you, this blog would not have happened. If this blog hadn’t happened, the book deal wouldn’t have happened.

Second: Thanks to Lady Whore—you shall know her pretty soon, dear reader—for making Hubby fall in love with you—and taking him off my hands, literally.

Third: Thank YOU dear reader for reading, for commenting. Some of you men out there have sent me sexy pictures of yourself. Thank you, I did use them (wink). As for women who’ve written in with their sad stories—sorry I couldn’t give you solace or advice but thank you, too, because you made me realize I didn’t want to be like you.

Lastly: Thank you Ms Polly Sharma of Tabloid. Your article on the ideal marriage made me laugh. It made me laugh because it was so naïve, so sweet, so bloody hopeful. It also made me realize that once upon a time I’d had dreams like you. It made me realize that even though I cannot have those dreams, I don’t really have to suffer this marital farce any longer. I hope you find strength somewhere when your reality breaks apart as well because dreams like yours never last. And because I know things about you that you don’t know yet. I have sources.

Those were the credits, now for the show.

It seems like someone very nasty got hold of my husband’s phone and has released the videos to several free porn sites. I am sure very soon you will also be reading about their sex-tape on various websites and publications. Our esteemed media, the fourth estate—how can they not publish a scandal?

I hope Tabloid does something spectacular—like using a blown-up picture as their lead story in the next issue. This stuff is right up Tabloid’s alley—it’s scandal, it’s sex and most of all, it stars two people employed in Tabloid.

Meet the stars of the show—my husband, Ravikant Sinha, news bureau chief and Ragini Malik, senior reporter; the fucker and the fucked.