‘Don’t you worry, didi—Don’t you worry about a thing. I will help. And if bhaiya is not happy, don’t worry. You will see, you will be happy. It will be your little babu and nothing anyone says or feels will stop you from feeling happy. Don’t you worry, didi. You be strong for your babu.’

And I realize she is right. I don’t know what’s happening with Sid but I will definitely have a chat with him about it. I can’t take this whole Jekyll and Hyde thing anymore. I understand his work’s important, but he needs to find more time—for us, for the baby. He also needs to do something about his mother. She is most welcome to come and visit us, but she has to stop her interference. Ultimately though, I have to be strong for my baby.

11

Diary of a Wimpy Girl

For once it’s good to reach work on time. If only I could be punctual for the Monday edit meetings as well, Comma would have one less complaint against me.

I take the stairs to office. It’s the only exercise I get in a working week. I keep a steady rhythm but I don’t run up as I usually do. I could have easily taken the lift but now that I’m pregnant, I need to ensure I keep fit. What To Expect says exercise makes it easier to handle labour. I could perhaps wake up earlier and go for a walk—but I’m not into early waking. I love my sleep and last night I again didn’t get enough of it because of Sid.

I haven’t seen Sid since Monday. He’s hardly been home and when he’s around, he avoids me. This seems to be developing into a weekly pattern. I’ve been tempted to confront him—and clear the air—but each time I’ve backed off. I remember how he reacted on Sunday and I want to give him space. I’m positive he will calm down soon and behave normally.

I was up till midnight waiting for him and eventually I drifted off to sleep; he turned up around three a.m. and woke me up. He tried his best to be quiet about things but I awoke nonetheless. I wanted to talk to him and ask him if everything was all right with him but somehow I couldn’t.

He was asleep in no time but I was up for quite a bit after that thinking about us—about how our relationship is so formal.

Sid was asleep when I went in for my shower and was still sleeping when I left home this morning. Dragon isn’t back until evening and that was a respite—I had a quiet morning, didn’t have to make any special breakfast and got dressed quickly—hence I reached work on time.