‘No one—no one sent me. And I wasn’t spying on you. I was looking for a toilet—but then Comma accosted me on the terrace and started the usual—’

‘Please spare me the details of your usual “Comma did this to me” nonsense. I don’t know why that woman can’t just fire you and get over with it. You’re on probation for crying out loud. But then everyone knows she’s a sadist,’ Ragini says.

She pulls on her cigarette and blows out a smoke ring at me.

I am quite speechless. Ragini has never, ever spoken to me like this and she has never blown smoke at me either. She knows I cannot stand it. As for Comma, I’ve always found Ragini very supportive whenever I’ve told her about Comma. In fact, she has always cut me short when I complain and—suddenly I look at it in a completely new light.

‘All the times—all the times you’ve told me to stand up to Comma—you weren’t being encouraging—you were just tolerating me,’ I say quietly.

‘Dear god, the pebble’s finally fucking dropped,’ Ragini says mincing each word.

Her tone makes me flinch. I’ve known Ragini since college, but this woman is a stranger.

‘Why didn’t you just tell me to shut up?’ I ask her.

Ragini shrugs.

‘Everybody always walks all over you. I didn’t want to join the list of people who treat you as a doormat,’ she says and it hurts me.

‘I am not a doormat, Ragini,’ I say softly.

I cannot believe she’s saying these things to me. There has to be a reason …

‘I think you’re saying all these—these rude things to me because you’re upset I saw you with—that night—and you think I will judge you and—’

‘You judge me?’ Ragini asks incredulously. ‘You’re fucking kidding me Polly—you judge me! You really have no idea about the real world do you? You believe in ideals by the book for fuck’s sake.’

‘What’s wrong with ideals?’ I ask.

She’s making me angry as well—something has happened to her over the last couple of weeks and instead of telling me, she just seems to take it out on me all the time.

First Sid and now Ragini—I’m getting sick of people not telling me anything and just treating me like a punching bag.