If your man has been a piece of shit from the start, no amount of waxing (eloquent) is going to change him.

If you have been having bad sex for the last 5/10/20 years, you’re going to continue doing so—unless you fuck someone younger and tell them what you want.

But to tell people what you want, you need to know what you want—do you know what you want?

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted.

I’ve known for quite some time now that Hubby doesn’t do it for me—not sexually and not emotionally. Why didn’t I ever walk out?

Whatever for? I didn’t have any illusions about True Love—I knew it wasn’t going to come knocking on my door anytime soon. I was also pragmatic enough to know that sex in most marriages boils down to the same thing—he’s fucking, you’re faking and foreplay is for teenagers and one-night stands.

In fact, after a while, foreplay irritates. You know he will do the customary kiss on the mouth, slather over your neck, squeeze your boob and shove his fingers up you because he wants you wet fast, while you lie back and hope it gets over quickly.

There might be married men and women who have brilliant sex lives. I haven’t met any and in this era of blogging everything about our lives I haven’t read any happy-married-sex-life blogs either. Read for yourself.

There are blogs by self-professed sluts, by women who shun love and seek shags, by cheating housewives, by imperfect mothers crying about lack of sleep and lack of sex—but I’ve never read a blog by a happily married woman who writes, ‘We are trying hard to make ends meet because of the mortgage and rising interest rates, Ramu didn’t get the promotion either, Tommy still sleeps in our room and Mataji is visiting, but hey, we still have it every night, doggy style, xoxo.’

Sure, sex can save your marriage but you need to lower your expectations about that salvaged marriage. Please note here that frequent sex does not ensure love in your marriage. Sex doesn’t ensure love much like love doesn’t ensure good sex. You could love your man to death but if he bunny fucks—in, out, over and done in one-and-a-half minutes—there’s no changing that fact, is there?

Does that mean your marriage is doomed? Does it mean you can do nothing to try and salvage it? No and no. You can do what countless women have done since time immemorial. What I have been doing all these years …