He was the first one who seemed to show any interest in knowing me beyond the words in the matrimonial. I didn’t want to see the all-too-familiar disappointment I knew I was going to see on his face.

Then came the moment I walked into the drawing room—Dragon instantly stood up, her mouth open, her hand on her bosom.

‘Is this not the girl in the photograph?’ she asked.

My eyes were only for Sid, though. He’d stood up, too, but he smiled instead and extended his hand for a shake. He didn’t look disappointed, he only looked mildly curious.

I’d been so relieved, I blurted out, ‘The photographs were Photoshopped—though I didn’t want them to be—if it helps …’

‘You wrote you’re a journalist, is that bit true or …?’ Sid asked, still smiling.

‘It’s true—I can show you my degree,’ I said. I shook his hand and smiled.

But Dragon was not having any of it.

‘I am sorry Mr Ahuja,’ she said, her eyes on me, ‘but it seems we’ve been lied to. We cannot accept this alliance and—’

‘We can accept this alliance, Ma,’ Sid told Dragon. Then he spoke to Papa.

‘I’m very glad and thankful you allowed me to write to your daughter, Mr Ahuja. I understand it’s not the usual practice. I’ve shown my interest so far and I’m not about to back down. If it’s all right with you and your family, I request you for your daughter’s hand in marriage,’ Sid said.

Naani didn’t waste any time once Sid said the words. She stuffed a laddoo in Dragon’s mouth, hoping to shut her up. Dragon kept quiet but she glared at me quite balefully.

She hasn’t stopped the glaring since; neither has she given up any opportunity for a Photoshop jibe.

That was perhaps the only time Sid has defied his mother. I still wonder though—why did he agree to marry me back then? Now that I know about Lalita, the answer to that question has become really important for me. But I don’t know how to even start asking the question.

Neither do I have any clear idea of how to behave around Sid when he returns in the evening. All the brave ideas of seducing Sid that I had last night seem absolutely ridiculous in the morning light. Whatever was I thinking when I bought those bras?

Virgin Bride might write about seducing your husband—I read that particular post three times—but I am still pretty clueless. I haven’t even initiated a kiss in the nine months that we’ve been married, let alone trying a—a blow job. What if I wear my new lingerie and stand before Sid—and what if he just looks at me and then goes off to bed or something? What am I supposed to do after that?