Like an obedient puppy, Addison followed Joanna into the next store, and her eyes grew wide. More upscale than the last, the shop offered luxury furniture for a luxury price, and all their tiny bedroom sets seemed to be designed with future kings and queens in mind. She did her best to be patient while Joanna browsed diminutive armoires, four-poster cribs, and swinging cradles draped in delicate sheers, all the while forcing a smile whenever Joanna looked in her direction. Price had never mattered to Addison, but bunny night lights, fairy wall stickers, intricately stitched teddy bears, and gilded mobiles for above the cribs all selling for well over a hundred pounds each had caused her eyebrows to raise more than once.

After visiting all the shops on Joanna’s list, Addison suggested an early dinner, and Joanna happily agreed. Unfortunately, no sooner had they sat down in the upscale Indian restaurant when the smell of the spices wafting through the eatery made Joanna’s stomach lurch, causing her to make a mad dash to the loo. Taking it in stride, Addison had George drive them to one of her favorite French restaurants, but again, when they walked through the door, Joanna went gray.

Hoping the third try was the charm. Addison held her breath as they entered Balthazar. The restaurant’s menu was inspired by the French, but the aromas filling the brasserie were not overpowering, and in less than no time, the two women were sitting in a red leather half-round booth scanning their menus. One sipped wine and the other tea, and when the waiter returned, they placed their orders. Dover sole with parsley for one, and pancakes with bananas and maple syrup for the other.

***

Addison had never been so happy to see Chauncey. After spending the entire day dealing with all things baby, when the pup demanded Joanna’s attention, and she took him outside for exercise, Addison escaped to her study for a much-needed drink. Standing at the credenza, she stared off into space, trying to come to terms with what she felt, which was nothing.

Ambivalence had replaced her feeling of incompetence before they had left the second shop and as much as she tried not to, Addison carried that attitude like luggage wherever they went. She had no connection to match Joanna’s. No maternal link that caused her skin to glow or her face to brighten at the mere mention of the word baby...and she was scared.

Unlike in business when Addison would spend months or even years planning out her moves in advance, this one had been put into motion in only a few short weeks. Had that been enough time to fully understand that her life would truly change forever? Was that the problem? Was she so selfish in her own wants and desires that resentment now lurked in the shadows of her psyche, smothering the maternal jubilation Joanna showed so effortlessly?