Back Best Served Cold Save as PDF
Contents ( 90)
  1. Benna Murcatto Saves a Life
  2. I
  3. TALINS
  4. Land of Opportunity
  5. The Bone-Thief
  6. Fish out of Water
  7. Six and One
  8. Bloody Instructions
  9. II
  10. WESTPORT
  11. Poison
  12. Science and Magic
  13. The Safest Place in the World
  14. Evil Friends
  15. Two Twos
  16. Plans and Accidents
  17. Repaid in Full
  18. III
  19. SIPANI
  20. Fogs and Whispers
  21. The Arts of Persuasion
  22. The Life of the Drinker
  23. Left Out
  24. A Few Bad Men
  25. The Peacemakers
  26. Cooking up Trouble
  27. Sex and Death
  28. That’s Entertainment
  29. What Happened
  30. IV
  31. VISSERINE
  32. Vengeance, Then
  33. Downwards
  34. Rats in a Sack
  35. The Forlorn Hope
  36. Mercy and Cowardice
  37. The Odd Couple
  38. Darkness
  39. The Connoisseur
  40. Vile Jelly
  41. Other People’s Scores
  42. The Fencing Master
  43. V
  44. PURANTI
  45. Sixes
  46. The Eye-Maker
  47. Prince of Prudence
  48. Neither Rich nor Poor
  49. Heroic Efforts, New Beginnings
  50. The Traitor
  51. King of Poisons
  52. No Worse
  53. Harvest Time
  54. The Old New Captain General
  55. VI
  56. OSPRIA
  57. His Plan of Attack
  58. Politics
  59. No More Delays
  60. All Business
  61. The Fate of Styria
  62. To the Victors…
  63. So Much for Nothing
  64. Shifting Sands
  65. VII
  66. TALINS
  67. Return of the Native
  68. The Lion’s Skin
  69. Preparation
  70. Rules of War
  71. One Nation
  72. All Dust
  73. The Inevitable
  74. Thus the Whirligig…
  75. Seeds
  76. All Change
  77. Happy Endings
  78. Acknowledgments
  79. extras
  80. meet the author
  81. interview
  82. introducing
  83. By Joe Abercrombie
  84. Praise for Best Served Cold
  85. Praise for The Heroes
  86. Praise for The Blade Itself
  87. Praise for Before They Are Hanged
  88. Praise for Last Argument of Kings
  89. Contents
  90. Copyright

There was a huge canvas in a gleaming frame on one wall—a woman with an improbable bosom bathing in a stream, and seeming to enjoy it a lot more than was likely. Monza never had understood why getting out a tit or two made for a better painting. But painters seemed to think it did, so tits is what you got.

“That bloody music’s giving me a headache,” Vitari grumbled, hooking a finger under her corset and scratching at her side.

Monza jerked her head sideways. “That fucking bed’s giving me a headache. Especially against that wallpaper.” A particularly vile shade of azure blue and turquoise stripes with gilt stars splashed across them.

“Enough to drive a woman to smoking.” Vitari prodded at the ivory pipe lying on the marbled table beside the bed, a lump of husk in a cut-glass jar beside it. Monza hardly needed it drawn to her attention. For the last hour her eyes had rarely been off it.

“Mind on the job,” she snapped, jerking her eyes away and back towards the door.

“Always.” Vitari hitched up her skirt. “Not easy with these bloody clothes. How does anyone—”

“Shhh.” Footsteps, coming down the corridor outside.

“Our guests. You ready?”

The grips of the two knives jabbed at the small of Monza’s back as she shifted her hips. “Bit late for second thoughts, no?”

“Unless you’ve decided you’d rather fuck them instead.”

“I think we’ll stick to murder.” Monza slid her right hand up the window frame in what she hoped was an alluring pose. Her heart was thumping, the blood surging painfully loud in her ears.

The door creaked ever so slowly open, and a man stepped through into the room. He was tall and dressed all in white, his golden mask in the shape of half a rising sun. He had an impeccably trimmed beard, which failed to disguise a ragged scar down his chin. Monza blinked at him. He wasn’t Ario. He wasn’t even Foscar.

“Shit,” she heard Vitari breathe.

Recognition hit Monza like spit in the face. It wasn’t Orso’s son, but his son-in-law. None other than the great peacemaker himself, his August Majesty, the High King of the Union.

Ready?” asked Cosca.

Shivers cleared his throat one more time. It had felt like there was something stuck in it ever since he’d walked into this damn place. “Bit late for second thoughts, no?”

The old mercenary’s mad grin spread even wider. “Unless you’ve decided you’d rather fuck them instead. Gentlemen! Ladies! Your attention, please!” The band stopped playing and the violin began to hack out a single, sawing note. It didn’t make Shivers feel much better.

Cosca jabbed with his cane, clearing the guests out of the circle they’d marked in the middle of the yard. “Step back, my friends, for you are in the gravest danger! One of the great moments of history is about to be acted out before your disbelieving eyes!”

“When do I get a fuck?” someone called, to ragged laughter.