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Chapters (69)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter One
  6. Chapter Two
  7. Chapter Three
  8. Chapter Four
  9. Chapter Five
  10. Chapter Six
  11. Chapter Seven
  12. Chapter Eight
  13. Chapter Nine
  14. Chapter Ten
  15. Chapter Eleven
  16. Chapter Twelve
  17. Chapter Thirteen
  18. Chapter Fourteen
  19. Chapter Fifteen
  20. Chapter Sixteen
  21. Chapter Seventeen
  22. Chapter Eighteen
  23. Chapter Nineteen
  24. Chapter Twenty
  25. Chapter Twenty-One
  26. Chapter Twenty-Two
  27. Chapter Twenty-Three
  28. Chapter Twenty-Four
  29. Chapter Twenty-Five
  30. Chapter Twenty-Six
  31. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  32. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  33. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  34. Chapter Thirty
  35. Chapter Thirty-One
  36. Chapter Thirty-Two
  37. Chapter Thirty-Three
  38. Chapter Thirty-Four
  39. Chapter Thirty-Five
  40. Chapter Thirty-Six
  41. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  42. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  43. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  44. Chapter Forty
  45. Chapter Forty-One
  46. Chapter Forty-Two
  47. Chapter Forty-Three
  48. Chapter Forty-Four
  49. Chapter Forty-Five
  50. Chapter Forty-Six
  51. Chapter Forty-Seven
  52. Chapter Forty-Eight
  53. Chapter Forty-Nine
  54. Chapter Fifty
  55. Chapter Fifty-One
  56. Chapter Fifty-Two
  57. Chapter Fifty-Three
  58. Chapter Fifty-Four
  59. Chapter Fifty-Five
  60. Chapter Fifty-Six
  61. Epilogue
  62. Prologue
  63. Chapter One
  64. Acknowledgements
  65. Credits
  66. More from Claire Allan …
  67. About the Author
  68. Also by Claire Allan
  69. About the Publisher

‘All children are eejits,’ I say. ‘It’s part of their charm. But you never allowed anyone else in? I mean, I understand that girls wouldn’t be allowed, because we were the enemy, but none of your friends from school or the street?’

Niall shakes his head. ‘No, it was our place. We didn’t want to share. It was like a safe place to go.’ His face clouds with sadness.

‘My da,’ Niall says, ‘he’s doing okay now, you know. But he was fond of the drink back then. Probably would be diagnosed with PTSD these days if he wasn’t too stubborn to go and see the doctor about it. You know, some of the things he went through in the Troubles …’

I knew that Frankie Heaney had a reputation as a hardman. He was someone people didn’t want to get on the wrong side of. Even now. He’d been active during the Troubles, served time for membership of the IRA. He’d done things, seen things that most people could only imagine.

‘He was no angel. He’s no angel now, but at the time, he was under a lot of pressure. Trying to police the community, getting grief from others. Not everyone was happy about the IRA calling their ceasefire, you know. There was a lot of fear and mistrust.

‘When I look back on it, with adult eyes, I can see that my da was probably terrified of what his position would be in a new Northern Ireland. Would he still be relevant? Would he still have any kind of authority? And the things he’d done, the time he’d served, what was that all about? So, he was angry, and sometimes he was violent with it,’ Niall says.

An image of two scared little boys flashes into my mind. The things that go on behind closed doors that we never know about. By the sounds of it, what happened to Kelly wasn’t the only thing that had left the Heaney twins traumatised.

‘He didn’t know about our den. So it was a safe spot, you know. We’d escape here sometimes when things got really bad at home.’

There’s silence then, save for the wind and the rain. Niall has finished talking and I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to say in response to that. I reach out and take his gloved hand in mine.

‘I’m sorry to hear things were tough,’ I say, knowing it’s woefully inadequate.

‘You let it make you or let it break you,’ he says. ‘I chose one path and Declan chose the other. Maybe he’s more like my da than he wants to let on.’

Niall gives my hand a little squeeze before letting go and turning to walk onwards.

I pick my way through the leaves, behind him. We’ve not walked far, when his voice rings out.