I will my logical self to kick back in. To focus on what I can do. What I can change. Feelings won’t help me now. For now, all I need to do is get to Nell’s house as quickly as I can to talk to Clodagh and the police.

God love her, but Clodagh isn’t to be relied on to start a search on her own. She’s a lovely girl but prone to hysteria. Could this just be hysteria? Will she remember that she did in fact speak to Nell yesterday and slap her head in a ‘stupid me!’ move?

No. I’m clutching at straws. And I don’t, as a rule, clutch at straws. But this is different. This is my child. My stomach twists again.

I call Nell’s number once more. Listen to her voice tell me she’ll get back to me. Her sing-song, youthful, full-of-promise voice. I contemplate leaving a message. Pleading with her to call me. Pleading with her to pick up. Ordering her to do what she is told.

But I don’t plead or cry. I end the call and concentrate on driving, finding each change of gear, each brake and acceleration, requiring more effort than usual. This can’t be happening.

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Acknowledgements

This book was part written, and entirely edited, during the COVID-19 lockdown. All my usual writing routines went out the window as, like so many, I combined home-schooling, stemming the worry of a global pandemic and not being able to escape to the beach for some fresh air.

I therefore appreciate even more the work of the people who worked behind the scenes to bring this book to life. All those who kept up the same level of support, enthusiasm and professionalism as usual while working in home offices and dealing with the strange ‘new normal’.

Most of all to my editor Phoebe Morgan, who once again has helped me polish this book and bring the characters to life. And thank you Phoebe for your never ending support. It really means the world.

Thanks to all the Avon team, and to all the fabulous people at HarperCollins Ireland who work tirelessly for their authors, but most of all are just really nice people to work with.

Thanks to all the brilliant booksellers, who faced their own uncertain times, but kept pushing all our books and offering their support. Special thanks to Dave at No Alibis, Jenny at Little Acorns, Bob at Gutter Bookshop, Heidi at WH Smith Ireland, and the staff of Eason, Foyleside. Thanks also to the staff of NI Libraries, especially the Central Library in Derry.