‘Declan spotted her first. He didn’t know it was her, but we knew it was something … different. I went closer and I could see her shape, in the water. She didn’t look … well, she didn’t look real. It took a while for my brain to register what I was looking at. I’d never seen a dead body before hers,’ he says and sips from his coffee, pausing for a moment to think about what he’s going to say.

‘To this day, I don’t know why I did it. Morbid curiosity, or bravado, or just without thinking, I decided to poke it – poke her – with a stick.’ He colours and wrings his hands before continuing. ‘I’ve never forgotten that feeling. Of the stick, when it … There was a wound, you know, to the back of her head. That’s where I poked her. The stick went right in.’

I grimace and Niall must catch the expression on my face. He looks down as if ashamed.

‘It messed me up for a while,’ he says. ‘How could it not? Everything changed that day. I don’t think I was ever the same after, but – and this might sound a little callous, Ingrid. Don’t judge me. But I don’t think I’d have got where I am in life if I hadn’t had that experience.

‘I’m only sorry that Declan didn’t see it the same way I did. He spiralled, you know. Nightmares. Anxiety. Was very clingy. I remember that. Didn’t want to go back and play in the woods again, even though it was so unlikely anything like that would happen again.’ Niall shakes his head as if this response from Declan was completely over the top.

‘To be fair to him, I didn’t want to go back there and play either,’ I say and Niall bristles.

‘You see, I don’t understand that. There was nothing to fear. There were no bad guys hanging around. Jamesy Harte was arrested and in prison. There was no threat any more. People were just feeding off the drama, like they couldn’t get enough of it, instead of letting it lie.’

‘It was a huge deal!’ I remind him. ‘It’s not something people just got over. It had an impact. And it should have had an impact.’

He shrugs as if that is no excuse. ‘Perhaps. But it didn’t need to change everything. That was letting the bogeyman win, wasn’t it? We didn’t need to let him win.’

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ingrid

By the time I leave Niall, I’m exhausted. And confused. His version of the aftermath differs from Declan’s. According to him, it was his brother who changed – and no matter how much family and friends have tried to help him over the years, Declan still seems intent on a path to self-destruction.