Back Ask No Questions
Chapters (69)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter One
  6. Chapter Two
  7. Chapter Three
  8. Chapter Four
  9. Chapter Five
  10. Chapter Six
  11. Chapter Seven
  12. Chapter Eight
  13. Chapter Nine
  14. Chapter Ten
  15. Chapter Eleven
  16. Chapter Twelve
  17. Chapter Thirteen
  18. Chapter Fourteen
  19. Chapter Fifteen
  20. Chapter Sixteen
  21. Chapter Seventeen
  22. Chapter Eighteen
  23. Chapter Nineteen
  24. Chapter Twenty
  25. Chapter Twenty-One
  26. Chapter Twenty-Two
  27. Chapter Twenty-Three
  28. Chapter Twenty-Four
  29. Chapter Twenty-Five
  30. Chapter Twenty-Six
  31. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  32. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  33. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  34. Chapter Thirty
  35. Chapter Thirty-One
  36. Chapter Thirty-Two
  37. Chapter Thirty-Three
  38. Chapter Thirty-Four
  39. Chapter Thirty-Five
  40. Chapter Thirty-Six
  41. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  42. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  43. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  44. Chapter Forty
  45. Chapter Forty-One
  46. Chapter Forty-Two
  47. Chapter Forty-Three
  48. Chapter Forty-Four
  49. Chapter Forty-Five
  50. Chapter Forty-Six
  51. Chapter Forty-Seven
  52. Chapter Forty-Eight
  53. Chapter Forty-Nine
  54. Chapter Fifty
  55. Chapter Fifty-One
  56. Chapter Fifty-Two
  57. Chapter Fifty-Three
  58. Chapter Fifty-Four
  59. Chapter Fifty-Five
  60. Chapter Fifty-Six
  61. Epilogue
  62. Prologue
  63. Chapter One
  64. Acknowledgements
  65. Credits
  66. More from Claire Allan …
  67. About the Author
  68. Also by Claire Allan
  69. About the Publisher

He blinks as if he is bringing himself back into the present day and points in the direction of the reservoir. ‘There’s a new pathway down here now,’ he says, ‘but follow me up through these trees a bit first.’

Under the cover of the trees, the wind doesn’t seem as loud. The rain is still falling, dripping through what is left of the leaves on the branches and landing in fat ice-cold droplets on the ground, on my clothes, on my face. I’m glad I put my wellies on, because the persistent wet weather of the last few days has left the ground slick and muddy. I tread slowly.

‘Do you remember playing here after school?’ Niall asks.

‘I didn’t play here all that often. Not after school, anyway,’ I said. ‘My mum was always terrified I’d get into some sort of trouble. Fall into the reservoir, break a bone climbing a tree, something like that. But I do remember having picnics here, in the summer. With my parents and a friend or two. The grass was so long it almost reached the top of my legs. I remember the smell of it.’

‘It doesn’t smell the same now,’ Niall says. ‘My memory of playing here is just like this, fallen leaves and branches. Mulch beneath our feet. Thick drops of rain, and the smell of the sap and the trees mixed with that of smoke from the coal-fired chimneys. Declan and I, we’d play here most days after school – go home in a state, our clothes mucked to the eyeballs. My poor mother had the washing machine constantly on the go and was forever drying uniforms for us around the radiators or in front of the fire.’

‘What sort of things did you play?’ I ask, watching as he looks around him, touching his hand to some of the trees, staring up through the branches to the sky – as if trying to re-familiarise himself with the place.

‘All sorts,’ he says. ‘Some days we pretended we were soldiers. Others we were stranded on an island somewhere. Some days we just threw stones or sticks into the rezzie. Or we climbed trees. We had a den, you know.’

His face is animated as he talks; I can see the traces of the child he was. Wide-eyed with wonder.

‘I say it was a den, but really it was just a small clearing and there was a fallen tree, which made for a great bench to sit on. The area was really overgrown, so it was the perfect place to hide, to get cover from the rain. We had a password to get into it, which was ridiculous really, seeing as it was only me and Declan who ever went into it. We were eejits, really.’