I clenched my fists. “Don’t throw my own words in my face! What do snowball fights and sleigh-riding have to do with any of this? I also mentioned strength and vulnerability. The way you treated me last night demonstrated neither.”

He shook his head several times. “I can’t be the hero of your dreams, Adi. You’re always going to be disappointed with me, and I’m always going to feel like shit about it.” His voice choked with emotion.

Guilt tugged at my chest. I had droned on and on and on at Lakeview House about my ideal man. Was I putting undue pressure on Finn to be the perfect boyfriend? I opened my mouth to apologize, when a vision of Leo popped into my head. So many times he’d blown me off when something else suddenly came up. When I called him on it, he would insist our plans had been tentative, then turn it around on me and call me needy or overly sensitive for being upset.

Finn was doing the same thing by claiming my frustration with him was a product of my own unrealistic expectations. The blood rushed to my head in the realization.

“I won’t be gaslighted into thinking it’s my problem, because it’s not,” I said. “So I’ve dabbled in fantasies of meeting the elusive unicorn guy and living happily ever after. It doesn’t excuse your behavior. I don’t need the fairy tale, but I don’t want this either.” My nails dug into my palms until it hurt. I was disappointed, and I wanted and deserved more from a relationship than simply living with it.

I’d dated Leo for almost a year, keeping my frustration to myself until I couldn’t take it any longer, only to learn we’d never been on the same page anyway. Never again.

I wasn’t going to give Finn the same opportunity to throw me crumbs. “If you’re not boyfriend material, it’s not because of your dad. That’s a cop-out. It’s because you’re unwilling to let anyone be as important as him in your life. And worse, you’re willing to throw people you claim to care about under the bus to placate him.” I looked him straight in the eye. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

The lines in his forehead creased. “I wish I could be the man you want, but a relationship with me comes with too much baggage I can’t release.”

I grunted. “I’m not asking you to abandon your father. I just don’t want to be cast aside every time he needs you. I want to coexist with him. You said you wanted me to care about you. I do. Don’t punish me for it now.”

“I don’t know what to say.”