I shook my head. ‘I’m going to trust you. Let’s get your shoes on. Mum will be down in a few minutes, then we’ll be going.’

Logan picked up his black school shoes, plonked himself down on the sofa, and fumbled with the laces. ‘Jemma…’ he pleaded, exasperation in his voice. I knelt down and fastened them for him.

‘All done, Logan-paws.’

He usually smiled at his pet name, but his little face looked very serious when I stood up again.

‘Jemma?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is today a sad day?’

I sat down beside him. ‘Yes. It is.’

‘I don’t feel very sad. Billy Thomas said people cry when people die. Should I be crying?’

Tears pricked my eyes as I put my arm round him and cuddled him against me. I took a moment to compose myself so he didn’t hear any wobble in my voice. ‘Billy Thomas is right. When someone dies, people do often cry because they’re sad that they won’t see that person again and they’ll miss them.’

‘Oh! I didn’t see Daddy much and I never missed him when he wasn’t here. Not like I miss you when you go back to London. Is that why I’m not sad?’

‘Probably.’ I cuddled him even more tightly against me.

For all he’d tried to control my life and Mum’s, Dad had been completely the opposite with Logan. It hadn’t just been the baby years he wasn’t interested in. He hadn’t wanted any of the years with his son. He made a token effort to see him around his birthday or Christmas and gave him a gift that was usually age-inappropriate or something he already had. He’d maybe see him two or three other times during the year, but only if I was home for the weekend, and he’d spend all the time talking at me and still trying to control me. He’d only acknowledge Logan to tell him to: be quiet, stop talking with his mouth full, get his elbows off the table, stop playing with his food. For the first time, I realised that perhaps he had been trying to control Logan too.

Logan looked up at me, his eyes big and sad, his voice tentative. ‘Will Mum be sad if I don’t cry?’

‘Of course not!’

‘Will you cry?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Are you sad that Daddy’s gone to heaven?’