‘Not yet, but I think it’s only a matter of time. When I’ve got up and known it’s a bad day, I’ve caught the bus to the shop. At the moment, there are more good days than bad, but I’m expecting that to change.’

‘Today’s a good day?’

‘It’s an okay day.’

‘What’s a bad day like?’

Mum stopped. ‘You really want to know?’

I nodded. ‘You joked that climbing the stairs feels like climbing Everest but, funnily enough, I’ve never done that. I’m guessing you mean it’s slow and painful?’

Mum linked my arm and pulled gently on it to indicate we should continue walking. ‘Remember that time you did cross country at school and you got cramp so badly when you were running across Moor View Farm that you couldn’t stay on your feet? You said you’ve never been in so much pain in your life.’

Despite it being fifteen years ago, I could still remember that day clearly, writhing around on the grass in agony, clutching onto my leg. ‘It’s like that?’

‘It can be. And, when it is, it’s not just in one calf. It’s like every muscle in my legs has tensed from my hips to my toes. It’s like my joints are on fire. It’s like my legs are about to explode which I hope they don’t because that wouldn’t be pretty.’

‘Oh Mum!’ My heart broke for her having to go through this.

‘Other days, I don’t have cramps, but I can barely move. It feels like my feet are encased in cement and I can’t budge, like that first time in my workshop. Then there’s the exhaustion. I get up and my whole body aches. You know that feeling you get if you’ve been decorating or gardening all day and your muscles feel tired and heavy? It’s like that. Then there’s the times when I get all fidgety and can’t sit still. There’s this feeling of restlessness throughout my body and I have to move. But when I move, it’s slow. What’s that all about? Do you want me to go on?’

We stopped again and a tear slipped down my cheek as I hugged her.

‘Sorry, Jem,’ she whispered into my hair, ‘but you asked and we don’t keep secrets in this family, so I hope you’re going to tell me yours after my appointment.’

‘I will. I promise. Let’s focus on you for now, though.’

We set off towards the hospital again.

‘Have you been okay at work?’ I asked. ‘Have you told Annie and Liv?’ Annie worked full-time in Bear With Me and Liv worked weekends but also provided cover for when Mum was running workshops or working away.