I could. Thanks to the life assurance policy that financially-astute Nikki had insisted we take out, I could buy a new place straight out. But I couldn’t move back home. I may not have Nikki anymore but I still had a career and I had to give it at least a year in London, preferably two, to maintain any sort of credibility.

I gazed into the fire. ‘Maybe one day.’

‘If you do, you’d be welcome to stay with us while you’re looking for somewhere new. Providing you can put up with screaming babies and the permanent stench of shitty nappies.’

I gave him a half-smile. ‘You need to work on your sales technique.’

We sat in silence for a while, both watching the flames.

‘Thanks for coming down this weekend,’ I said eventually. ‘I was dreading it.’

‘It’s the least I can do.’

‘Let’s stop talking about me. How are the girls?’

‘Teaching Isla to talk was a big mistake. She’s already got the attitude of a teenager. I think the terrible twos might last forever. Saffron is on Australian time – sleeps all day, screams all night. We’ve forgotten what sleep is. Millie hates me and has threatened to slice my balls off with a cleaver and serve them to me in an omelette if I ever get her pregnant again. She’s demanding I get the snip.’

‘Are you going to?’

‘No! We always wanted a boy and a girl. We’d agreed to try again if baby number two was a girl.’

‘What if she gets pregnant and it’s another girl?’

Jack shrugged. ‘Keep going till we get a boy.’

‘And Millie agrees to that?’

He paused and took a swig of his lager. ‘She will. Eventually.’

‘Jack! What about when number four’s a girl too? And number five? You should count yourself lucky that you’ve been able to have two kids, whatever their gender, when there are so many couples out there who can’t have any.’

I pictured the look of longing in Nikki’s eyes as she’d held Isla a few hours after she was born. We’d talked about having a family at some point and, that night, we decided it was time. But nature had other ideas. It was heartbreaking seeing the look of disappointment on her face as each month passed without good news.

‘I’m sorry, mate. You and Nikki would have made great parents.’

I couldn’t respond. Memories swirled round my mind, making me feel dizzy.