‘Last wave then we need to call it a day,’ she said. ‘Ready?’

And, finally, I made it upright on the board and rode that wave all the way to the shore, right beside Nikki. We pulled the boards out of the water and she threw her arms round me, squealing excitedly.

I don’t know who moved first but the next moment we were kissing and thirty minutes later we were back at her rented flat, all thoughts of taking things slowly thrown completely out of the window.

‘To Nikki?’ Jack suggested, raising his glass.

I nodded and clinked mine against his. ‘To Nikki. To the thirtieth birthday she never had and the wedding day we never shared.’ The cold liquid felt like a lump of coal forcing its way down my throat.

It had seemed like a good idea planning our wedding for the same day as her birthday. Nikki said it would be the most amazing thirtieth party ever with double the celebration. Instead, it was double the pain. With the day before proving hard enough, I had no idea how I was going to get through tomorrow.

‘She was one in a million,’ Jack said.

‘Too right. You knew what you were doing that day when you set us up, didn’t you?’

He nodded. ‘As soon as I met her, I could see her with you. You were perfect for each other.’

‘Then why the hell did she leave me?’ Each word carried my pain and anger.

‘She’d never have chosen to.’

A pile of torn fragments of beer mat sat next to my pint. Had I just done that? I swept them onto the floor.

‘How many of these do you think I need to forget?’ I gulped down the remaining half pint in one.

‘That’s the answer, is it? Drink till you pass out?’

‘Have you got a better idea? What would you have done on the weekend of your wedding if it had been Millie who’d dropped dead with a brain aneurysm seven-and-a-half months earlier?’

He stared at me for a moment, nodding slowly, then raised his glass and downed it in one. ‘Same again?’

‘Same again.’

He picked up the glasses and headed back to the bar. I hated myself for being so aggressive towards him, but I was angry and I had every bloody right to be.

Jack leaned on the bar with his head in his hands, taking deep breaths. I knew that pose well. It was how I started each day, hoping it was finally the day when the aching pain in my heart would ease a little and the desire to yell, ‘fuck it’ and join Nikki in the ever after would fade away. But that day never seemed to come.

Jack returned, pale-faced, and handed me my fresh pint. ‘Can I ask you a question?’