By Tuesday morning, it seemed too late to reply. Action was needed instead. My manager wasn’t impressed at the short notice of my leave request. I hadn’t wanted to pull a guilt trip on him but when I let it slip that the following Friday would be the one-year anniversary of Nikki’s death and her parents had arranged a memorial gathering, he couldn’t sign the authorisation quickly enough.

Knocking back the last drops of coffee in the services car park, I wondered whether to send Jemma a text to say that I was on my way home and wanted to meet up with her. It seemed so inadequate after nearly a week of silence. No. I’d wait until I was home instead and could see her face to face. If I hadn’t completely blown it already.

Thor and I re-joined the motorway and headed north. I was going to have to confess everything. Kirsty had hit a nerve because she’d been right about Jemma. Five days without contact with Jemma had proved to me that I had moved on. Less than a year after my fiancée died, I’d developed feelings for someone else. Strong feelings. I didn’t expect anything in return but I needed to explain why I’d reacted the way I had. If I’d learned anything from my relationship with Kirsty and if Jemma had learned anything from her relationship with Scott, it was the importance of trust and honesty. If we were to have any sort of friendship and perhaps something more one day, it had to be built on both of those things.

I lay on the bed in my old room at Mum and Dad’s a few hours later and, with fumbling fingers, tapped in a text:

✉︎ To Jemma

Hi. I’m sorry for the lack of contact this week. I started a reply to your message so many times but could never find the right thing to say. I thought it would be easier to say it in person. I’ve got the week off and am back home again. If you have any time tonight or tomorrow to hear my pathetic excuses, I’d like to try and make it up to you xx

It was three hours before a reply came back. Three agonising hours where I cursed myself for running away again and not facing up to my feelings.

✉︎ From Jemma

Hello stranger! Thought you’d disappeared off the face of the earth. I’m at Bear With Me and it’s been manic. I’ve only just seen your text. I’m going to South Bay tonight with Mum and Logan to see the bonfires and fireworks. I’d invite you to join us but Mum will get stressed and want an instant diagnosis. I can meet you on the seafront afterwards if you like. Say 8pm?

✉︎ To Jemma

Sounds good. Thank you xx

✉︎ From Jemma

What for?