but he mostly looks terrified.

Hey, um, Ari? He coughs. I’m sorry about

what happened. He doesn’t

look me in the eye.

I think of all the things I want to say,

should say,

but instead

I just say,

Okay.

That’s it. Frank lingers for a few seconds

like he might say something else,

but instead he just walks away.

Wow, Noah says,

talk about looking different.

I shake my head.

I can’t believe it.

But most of all,

it surprises me how many

people don’t notice,

because in my mind,

I had made this day about me,

when really it’s about all of us.

A new time, a new place,

new … us.

Friends No Matter What

Noah heads to woodshop,

his early elective,

and I remember the plan

to meet Lisa.

I walk up the stairs toward the base

of the clock tower near the flower beds.

Slowly the other students slip

away toward the first classes of the day.

I don’t see her,

and I remember

that she’s unpredictable

and it’s not her fault.

She doesn’t owe me anything.

I hear her voice,

reminding me

we are friends no matter what.

I wait there

near the flower beds,

the sun and the fog

pouring into the morning,

until the clock tower

sounds the second bell,

and when she doesn’t come,

I head to English.

The Phone Call

I run home from the bus stop.

I’ve had so many new ideas for the game.

I need to get back to it.

Plus, Gretchen said she

would call me on Thursday.

It’s Thursday.

The city is cold,

fall setting in all the way.

I zip up my jacket,

run from Chestnut Street

down toward Divisadero,

up the stairs

and inside.

I throw my backpack

on the counter.

There’s a note there

from Mom, telling me

she’ll be home from

the gallery before dinner.

She tries so hard to be a good mom.

I open a diet soda,

eat a piece of Muenster cheese,

tearing off the yellow edges

piece by piece,

and a few saltines.

On the counter is a troll

I made in the summer.

He’s holding a boogie board

on top of his head,

crooked legs and crooked teeth.

I think about summer all the time.

Suddenly the phone rings,

and I swallow the cheese,

take a sip of soda.

Gretchen!

I clear my throat,

and try to think of the right words

to start things off.

Near the phone

are the two photos.

The before picture,

where we smile in the sun.

I see Pick and Lisa,

bright in the sunshine,

and I think of Jorge too,

so real and unreal at the same time.

Next to it, the after picture, turned facedown.

I smile at them.

Both are me.

All the way.

I pick up the phone,

take a breath,

but it’s so quiet.

Hello? I say.

Silence.