He holds up his sketchbook.

Look what I drew!

On the page,

is a picture of a pond.

At the bottom is

a massive lizard

with a line drawn across the edge

of the page: nine feet.

A giant salamander?

Yes, Jorge says. This is one animal

I think your book got right.

I think I saw one of these once.

I smile.

You guys are back? Jorge says.

Yes, I say. We got back today.

He looks toward the beach,

I thought you guys got back yesterday

because I saw Lisa in town.

Her name startles me. Lisa?

Yeah, he says. I saw her earlier.

She’s at the beach right now.

I feel heavy and light at the same time.

Ari, he says, it’s weird.

Remember that guy who gave us a hard time?

The one with the dark hair?

She’s down there with him.

The bus pulls up.

I gotta go, but I’ll call you later.

He hurries onto the bus,

his groceries and sketch pad

bundled together.

Glad you’re back! he shouts.

I walk toward the beach.

The Surprise

Lisa says

that at least once a day

you have to put your feet

in the ocean.

I walk down to the beach.

The waves are big and far away,

breaking way offshore,

red flags along the beach

warning everyone

of heavy surf.

I walk toward the water,

past the SHARK ADVISORY signs,

past the gray lifeguard tower.

There are a few people

in our usual spot,

some kids chasing

an orange Frisbee,

and a couple sitting close together.

That’s when I notice it,

the black backpack

with the Def Leppard patch.

Her blond hair

down her back,

maybe a little wet,

the hints of her blue bikini

against her perfect browned skin,

her behind nestled into the sand,

sitting with arms over her knees.

She leans slightly into the boy.

Older, muscular, rounded shoulders,

his arm around her waist

dug in the sand.

He whispers something to her,

looks off to the ocean.

It doesn’t take long

to recognize him.

I can still hear

the voice of his friend

in my mind. Baby Huey’s got a girrrlfriend.…

How is she here?

How is she with him?

How does everything

become nothing

in such a short time?

I feel my stomach

fall into the sand.

I pick it up,

look at it,

hold it up to the sun.

It’s sandy but

completely transparent,

suddenly empty.

I hold my heart too,

beating wildly like

my chest might actually

explode.

I back into the tree line

step by step.

I am so far away

from what I understand.

Not Dealing

In the evening,

back at the nursery,

Lisa finally walks

through the gate.

Hey, Ari!

she calls,

and runs over to hug me.

I don’t give it back.

You’re getting taller, Ari,

but you’re smaller too.

I’m not used to my arms

reaching all around you!