‘I’ve just been on the phone with the hospital.’ I’m glued to my computer chair while he perches on my bed. I don’t want to get closer to him for some reason, like that’ll make what he’s about to say more real. ‘They’ve . . . given us an update.’ His voice cracks and that’s when time speeds up, like I’m watching everything in fast forward. ‘They haven’t confirmed – they can’t over the phone – but I wanted to tell you before we go that it’s . . . it’s not going to be good.’ The word ‘good’ is barely a whisper. Dad’s face crumples and he cries.

I stand up to go to him but my legs buckle and I’m on the floor. I open my mouth to say something, to cry out, but nothing happens.

A tingling sensation starts from the tips of my fingers right up my arms. Then it moves to the tips of my toes right up my legs. The sensations meet at the very centre of my belly where the monster lives. It wakes and roars, but it’s different today, defeated. When it stops all I am is a hollow pit where fire once burned. I feel like Alice crying silently while the room fills up with my tears.

Dad says something but it sounds muffled. The tears reach my bed and I’m dunked into water, sinking down, down, down.

Dad’s arms wrap round me but instead of feeling comforted I feel strangled, like a snake is trying to squeeze all the air from my body. My chest feels heavy and I’m drowning.

I pull away from him and huddle up by my bed frame, knees against my chest, face buried into my knees.

The water has reached the top of my window now. It swallows everything up whole and all that’s left is smoke and ash where I once stood.

Chapter 34

I don’t leave my bed until the next evening when Dad convinces me to have a bath. I don’t go to school or reply to any of the messages from Izzy, Gini and Charlotte asking me if everything’s OK. I play with the bubbles, letting the warmth of the water seep into my bones.

Tomorrow we will go see the doctors, and they’re going to tell us it’s GAME OVER. That’s what Dad said.

So now, all I can do is wait. Strangely, though, that doesn’t feel right. I can’t just give up, can I? Once, in Fairy Hunters, my health was down to four per cent. I had three wizards zapping spells at me, but I still managed to win. I even got a special mention for it on the message board. If I did it once, maybe I can do it again!