I look down at the memory box. I got some wrapping paper that looks like a map of the world and stuck it to the outside of the box and lid. I thought Mum would like it. I lift the lid and show Dad all the objects.

‘Been on a scavenger hunt, have you?’ he asks, his voice breaking. Tears slide down his face as he sifts through the items.

I explain how I wanted to be closer to her.

‘Shall we go and see her one more time before we meet the doctors?’

I nod, not trusting myself to speak any more.

Dad explains to the nurses that we need to see Mum, and they let us into her room just for a few minutes. He holds my hand as we enter, squeezing it tight.

‘It’s OK, Saff,’ Dad says, my steady rock in a choppy ocean. ‘It’s going to be OK.’

Chapter 35

When I was little my parents took me to horse riding club. I think they were worried because I was really shy back then, and they wanted me to learn to talk to people. I would clean the stables and feed the horses and help fetch equipment for lessons.

I loved the club for a while, until one day a horse bucked me off its back. I fell, splat, into the mud and broke my arm. After it healed Mum took me back and told me I had to get on the horse again. The same one. But my legs wobbled like jelly, and I cried and screamed and clung on to her shirt.

‘Safiya,’ she said, bending to my height, ‘you and me, we’re the same. We have fire in our belly and we can do anything. Being brave is about doing something even when it scares you.’

I sniffed, my face covered in tears, and I got on the horse.

Nothing bad happened that time.

On the way home Mum bought me an ice cream. ‘I’m proud of you, my little girl,’ she said. ‘You’re the bravest.’

I’ve been hiding from the world for the last week now. We met with the doctors and they’ve diagnosed Mum with ‘brain stem death’. They’re switching off her ventilator next week, which means she’ll stay asleep forever. Like a real princess in a tower.

Dad talked to the school and they agreed to let me have a couple of weeks off. I’ve spent most of my days casting spells and defeating wizards in the world of Fairy Hunters, and living off cheese and Marmite toasties. Lady’s thrilled because she has a friend with her at all times, and she follows me around like a shadow. But I’m glad for it, because I don’t know what I would do without her.