I close my eyes and I get a glimpse of something. Mum’s bedroom door. I know she’s still there waiting for me. And I realize, in that moment, that it’s not over yet. I still have a chance to finish the game, to save Mum.

Chapter 36

When I go into the game things are different. I’m outside, right across the street by the limits of the game, while a sandstorm rages around me. The wind whips me to and fro, pulling at my clothes, tearing at my hair. It wants to spin me around, to take me for a dance like it’s doing with the leaves on the trees. It’s so fierce it feels like it might shatter my bones. It clings to my clothes, gets into my mouth and nose. I can taste it, feel it crunch between my teeth.

I take one step, then two, but it’s pulling me back away from the house.

I break my steps down.

One. Two. Three.

Just like that first day in hospital when I crossed the hall to get to Mum. I think about that and how far I’ve come. She’s so close now. I might even be talking to her in a few minutes. And then, when I leave the game, she’ll wake up.

I know she will. I can feel it.

Four. Five. Six.

We’ll get to the next stage of the competition and I can tell Mum all about the game and how I saved her. She’ll see that gaming is important, that it’s not just a waste of time.

We’ll celebrate Mother’s Day at her flat, and then her birthday.

I’ll ask her all about her life in Kuwait and what it was like moving to England when she was so young.

Seven. Eight. Nine.

I’m through the gate now. I’m getting closer. The silver branches surround the house entirely, sneaking through the cracks in the walls. They watch me as I walk, wriggling their bodies and hissing my name like a thousand snakes.

‘Safiya,’ they say, as if they were right next to me. ‘Turn back. You’re not ready.’

‘No!’ I yell, gritting my teeth.

I pick up my pace, jogging now. And I finally make it through the front door.

The house is in ruins. There are no longer cracks in the walls, because there aren’t any walls to begin with. The plants are all dead, the chandeliers are just shards of glass, and the bathroom is an empty pit. I glance in it, see the sink has fallen through the floor, and realize that the memory where Zaina spies on Aminah and Rawan is lost to me forever. The heartbeat of the house has slowed to a dull thud.

I rush upstairs, afraid of what I might find. What if the room is no longer there? What if Mum is gone?