We’re in Dr Oriji’s office later in the day, the same office Amanda took me to just a few hours ago. I sit in the same chair, but it doesn’t seem big this time. It seems just right, like I’ve grown up far more than I should have in the last few hours. Like I’m growing as the conversation ticks on.

I feel groggy from the events of the morning and my eyes are still swollen from crying.

‘We’re going to run some tests,’ Dr Oriji explains.

The doctor sounds like she’s speaking in slow motion. I watch her lips form the words that make my stomach twist in knots. And when she’s done it’s like everything is moving in double speed to catch up.

‘What sort of tests?’ Dad asks, frowning. We agreed that I would come in today, that I needed to know, but Dr Oriji looks at me nervously, like she doesn’t want to say the next words in front of me. She opens her mouth, then closes it, rubbing her chin with her forefinger and thumb. Eventually she settles, arms resting on her desk.

‘We’re testing for brain stem death,’ she explains.

Death. Death. Death.

The word thumps in my mind like something slamming hard against my skull until I bury my face in my hands. It doesn’t go away, and I want to scratch at my skin, my hair, to get it out. But it’s too rooted inside me to simply pluck out, and all I can do is cry.

There’s a bit of fumbling while Dr Oriji gets me a tissue, and Dad pulls his chair closer to mine. He holds my hand while the doctor continues to explain.

Apparently Mum is no longer in a normal coma – the one where you think the person might wake up. The complications mean that they have to check her brain function to make sure that everything’s working. And they’ve put Mum on the ventilator again, so she’s not breathing on her own any more.

But I know her brain is working. I’ve been swimming in her memories as I’ve played the game. How could all this be happening if she isn’t alive?

Because you spilled the perfume. You ruined the game.

I push the thoughts aside and focus instead on what I can do to fix things.

I tried to look up the perfume, but nothing came up in my search. I suppose there are no ‘magical perfume’ shops online.

All that’s left in the bottle is the oily residue, barely enough for a drop.

What if I dilute it? That way it can last a bit longer.

Yes! I think. Just enough to finish the game.

I’m getting closer, I can feel it.