The wardrobe door isn’t fully shut and when I pull it open Mum’s clothes spill out, a pile crumpled at the bottom where they’ve fallen off the hanger. I start rummaging at the back and get excited when my hands grasp something solid. Yes. I pull it out to find it’s a shoebox. The perfect place to hide your secrets. But when I open it, to my disappointment, I find a pair of shoes.

I change tack, removing everything from Mum’s wardrobe, even patting down the wood for a secret compartment. I feel bad about making a mess, so I spend double the time hanging everything back up, until it looks better than how Mum left it.

I spot a beautiful green-and-blue beaded mermaid-style dress Mum has from Kuwait. It’s glittery and shiny and looks like scales covered in gold and gems. I remember Mum wearing it years ago when I was very little, but I had forgotten about it.

After a moment I reluctantly shut the wardrobe door and keep searching. My arms ache now and I’ve found nothing.

I move over to Mum’s chest of drawers. Then I try under the bed, on top of the wardrobe, in the bathroom cupboards. I check all her folders and photos lying round the house. I even check the toilet cistern before I realize how ridiculous this has become. I’m a little manic, like a detective searching for clues.

I stomp around the flat like an angry bear, until I collapse on the sofa in a heap. Think, Safiya, think.

I look across at Mum’s bookshelves and spot a photo album sitting next to an old copy of The Wizard of Oz. I rush over and look through the album carefully, but none of photos are from when Mum was my age. It’s like there’s a great big black hole swallowing up that part of her past. There are photos of Mum as a toddler, but then they skip to Mum at university, and Mum after she met Dad.

Why would she keep these if she’s not with Dad any more . . . ? I think back to the way Dad spoke about Mum, and how he said it was complicated. Maybe she does still love him? Maybe things aren’t as simple as I thought . . .

Just then I get a message from Elle.

My heart practically leaps from my chest. I haven’t heard from her since our sleepover, and that went so badly I’m scared to read what she has to say.

Elle: Hey, Saff. Miss you this week. <3 Me and the girls were talking and we thought it would be cool to end half-term by going to Maccies and then the cinema with some of the boys? Matty’s going to be there, of course. It might be a good time for you two to make up?