Losing someone you love is weird. You think you’ll feel sad all the time, but sometimes that’s not how it is. You can find moments of happiness in between, like rays of light shining through on a cloudy day.

Saff: TEAM TIGERHEART TO WIN <3

Charlotte’s news gives me strength on a day that feels like my world is ending.

The next step is for us to make a demo of the game. Then we go to London in August and present it to the Fairy Hunters team. And I’ll be leading the presentation! Before everything that happened with Mum I wouldn’t have considered it, but now I feel like I can do anything. I’m not afraid any more, like that time I got back on the horse.

‘Ready?’ Dad asks soon after, knocking on my open door. His voice is soft.

I remember, when I was little, screaming all the way to the hospital to get my jabs. I was terrified of the chemical smells, white walls and uniforms. Then, when we had to get our vaccinations at school, Mum would usually come to hold my hand for five minutes before returning to work.

I feel like that now. I want to scream and cry and have someone hold my hand. Dad hovers just beyond the threshold of my room, but something on my face must make him cross that line. He comes in and wraps me in his arms.

I breathe in and out, and I feel OK. Just for a moment.

‘I need a few more minutes, if that’s all right?’

Dad nods, retreating back out of my room, to be replaced by Lady. She doesn’t do anything, just settles her head on my lap while I sit cross-legged on my floor and add the final object to the memory box.

It’s a certificate with a star named after Mum. When I got home the other night I researched the constellation and found which one it was.

Luckily I had the money saved up from when I planned to book tickets to the gaming convention.

So, from now on, whenever I look at the tiger and the heart, I know that the point of the heart is called Aminah. It’s sharp and full of passion, just like her.

Dad lets me go up alone when we get to the hospital. He says he’ll be in the cafe.

I get to the desk and there’s the nice nurse from the other night. I’m glad it’s not Sue. ‘She’s ready for you.’ She tries for a smile, but I can see her eyes are watery.

‘It’s OK,’ I say, smiling back. And even though it isn’t, I know it will be one day.