“I got lucky that I made it past that point in my life. I don’t tell anybody about it, but I’ve told you. Through that treatment program, I learned to care about my body a different way, through exercise, healthy diets, and self-care,” she explained.

Melody had seemed like the type of person who had herself together, but she really put herself out there for me to see.

“I had no idea,” I eventually said.

“No, no, you didn’t. Adrian, when I saw you that night, throwing up, sticking your fingers down your throat, it brought me back to a place where I couldn’t be. I felt really lost, like I didn’t know you. I thought I had been helping you lose weight on a healthy track for months, and seeing you do that, well, it just felt like I’d been betrayed and that my worst fears were involved with the same person as I was.”

She paused for a moment and put her face in her lap. When she brought her face back up, it was covered in tears.

“I saw the things I was running away from: my fear, my insecurities, my past, my trauma. I saw it wrapped around the boy I loved. It hurt, and it scared the hell out of me. I had to leave.”

More tears began rolling down her cheeks, but she didn’t make any noise. I didn’t know how to feel, or how to react. It put the puzzle pieces together, but it didn’t quite cool down the hurt that I felt. Why hadn’t she been open about it in the first place? I felt like I was left in the dark, and it wasn’t a good feeling. She could have told me, and it could have helped put things into context earlier. If she went through the same thing, and if she would have told me her story, it could have been avoided. I went on the offensive.

“Mel, that’s . . . Why didn’t you tell me this before? I was in the same position that you were in.”

“Because it freaked me out, dude. I don’t think you understand —”

“If you had understood, you wouldn’t have left me like that. I needed help and support. I needed someone and you left me there.”

“Adrian, that wasn’t my intention —”

I cut her off. “But that’s what you did. Maybe if you had kept close, then I would have lost weight at a healthier rate, maybe I wouldn’t have this stupid excess skin, maybe I wouldn’t have to wear layers, maybe I wouldn’t be drowning in depression.” God, I was pissed off.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do. I was spooked, okay?” she said defensively.

“Yeah, jump scares or horror movies don’t scare you. But people who need help do.”

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I still care about you —”

“If you cared about me, then I wouldn’t have ended up doing what you already did,” I growled.