“I’m sorry, Mel. What I did was wrong and it was rude. Scarlett called me out on it and she was right. I told her how I felt the other night and she tore me apart.”

“Yeah.” Mel rolled her eyes. “I wish I could have seen it.”

“Me, too. But, babe. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave King’s. You deserve to be there just as much as I do.”

“You have to do more than say that. You have to take action.”

“I will,” I said. “Listen, I’ve learned a lot from you and Scarlett. And you’re both teaching me things that I never would have thought about before. King’s is a place that doesn’t have many women. And we need to support the women in our lives. Mel, I appreciate you, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to push you away. I have to handle my ego and get rid of my bad habits. But you’re not one of them.”

I could see her frustration beginning to fade. I continued.

“I need you close. You’re not someone who I want to push away. I messed up. Full stop. You’re someone who is helping make me physically smaller, but you’re also making my heart bigger. This relationship has been good for me, and I hope it’s been good for you, too.”

“It has been good for me.” She crossed her arms and sighed. “But you need to communicate with me, Adrian. I care about you, too. And if you still want me there, I’ll stay. If you want me to leave, then I’ll be a disappearing act. But you have to talk to me. Got it?”

“I got it, and I want you to stay.”

“Okay,” Mel said. “I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.” I went up to her and gave her a hug. It took her a moment, but she hugged me back.

“I adore you, Mel. Thank you for everything.”

“I’m thankful for you, too, even if you kind of suck sometimes,” she said. “Thank you for being honest, but just talk to me next time. I know communication can be awkward, but I’m still your girlfriend. You’re allowed to speak to me, even if it feels weird sometimes. Got it?”

“Got it,” I said back.

“Good. I’ll see you there tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled.

She shrugged back. Things weren’t completely fixed, but it was a start. I clearly had more work to do.

But I did see her at the next class, and the one after that, and the one after that. Mel and Scarlett’s bond strengthened over time. I was happy about that. At first, I wasn’t, but things change. Maybe my many worlds coming together didn’t make things more complicated. Instead, it made support so much easier, and the numbers on my scale kept going down through kickboxing . . . and other means. I still purged, and sometimes binged beforehand. It wasn’t healthy. But it was my secret. I had to keep it close to the chest. Mel wouldn’t be happy if she found out. But after every class, I would step on the scale and the numbers went down ever so slightly. It was still progress to me, and I knew someday I would be skinny.