I stormed upstairs and stepped on the scale. That morning I was at 229 pounds, but it read 233 pounds right then. I wanted to cry, but I held the tears back for a few more minutes. I dropped to the toilet seat and stuck my fingers in my mouth and forced all that food out. I could taste the dirty feeling in my mouth reminding me that I didn’t want to be what I ate. My whole body ached after that, so I dragged myself to my room and laid in my bed. It was an off night for kickboxing, and I had nothing to do. I was still so mad at myself for not fighting back. I felt like a coward, and a lot of people saw it. I imagined if Mel saw it, she’d probably think I was a coward, too.

I laid down on my bed for a few hours feeling frozen until I heard my phone vibrate. I checked it, and it was from Mel.

Mel: Hey, I haven’t heard from you all day. What’s up, AC?

It always felt nice not having to be the one who texted first, every time I received one from her, I smiled.

I texted her back.

Me: Skipped school today. Super pissed off

Mel: What happened?

I didn’t want her to know about Lewis, but I didn’t think I could lie my way out of it. If she didn’t hear it from me, I’m sure she would have heard it from somebody else.

Me: Lewis shoved me in a locker today and yelled at me. I’m pretty upset.

There was a long pause on her end, and it was pretty unsettling. Suddenly my phone started ringing. It was her. I picked up.

“Dude, are you okay?” she asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” I told her. “No. Actually, no, I’m not. I hate him.”

“I know, babe,” she said softly. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to tell anyone. I don’t want to look weak.”

I didn’t want to tell anyone about Lewis bullying me. I knew that if my parents found out, they would think I was weak, too.

“You’re not weak, Adrian,” Mel said, annoyed. “You’re strong in different ways. You’re motivated. That takes strength.”

I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t help that I could see right through it. I knew no matter what she said, it wouldn’t take away my anger. But I also knew that she was trying, so I gave in to it.

“I know. Thanks, Mel. I don’t even want to go to school tomorrow.”

“Then you don’t have to,” she told me. “But I’d be lonely if you didn’t.”

That got a grin from me, but it didn’t quite erase my anger.

“There’ll be other times to make up for it,” I replied.

“There better be.”

Mel might not have taken the anger away, but she knew how to get me out of the mindset that led me there. It would return, but right now I was away from it all.