“Oh, wow, you’re so badass,” one of them said.

“Try me, douchebags.” She gave them a death glare and silence filled the air.

“Whatever,” the shirtless guy said as they both got up and walked away. Mel looked back and saw I had turned away. I didn’t want her to see me upset. That’s what hurt the most, being labelled a lost cause. I had made so many mistakes with my body, and I wanted to begin making some good choices. But being labelled a lost cause was not only hurtful, it scared me. Maybe I wouldn’t lose the weight. Maybe I would keep being obese and die at a young age. Maybe I’d never be able to fit into anything under a 5XL or take my shirt off at a beach. Maybe this was it. That’s what scared me the most.

“I’m sorry, Adrian,” Mel said in a soft voice. She put a hand on my shoulder and turned my face toward her. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek.

“It’s okay to cry, y’know. I know you boys don’t like doing that much, but you don’t have to hide your feelings here. You can be you. And forget those losers, man. Focus on you and me. We’re going to get through this together, I promise.”

I appreciated those words more than I could tell her. They sunk into me and made me feel as if someone genuinely cared. That was something I lacked. I never had many friends. I would never cry in front of Donny; I would never cry in front of my parents. I was always full of so much fear, so much sadness, regret, and shame when I looked at my body. I was just a reminder of all my failures. But it was also the only thing that was truly mine. My body made me feel like I was hopelessly lost at sea. Then there was Mel — she was like a light bringing me closer to the shore, creating a calm to my storm.

“Let’s just get out of here,” I said, walking away. She walked with me and held my hand along the way.

We headed back to Mel’s place, and she asked, “Wanna come in? I wanna make sure you’re okay, man.”

It was a nice offer, but after what had happened, I just needed to be alone.

“Not today, Mel. I kind of just want to go home.” I felt really embarrassed and very fragile.

“I understand,” she replied. “I’m sorry if that was weird. If you need someone to vent to, then just text me, all right?”

“All right,” I replied. “Thanks for today, by the way.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she reassured me.

I cracked a smile and made my way home.

When I got there, I went straight to my bathroom. I took off all of my clothes and stepped onto the scale again. It said 278.9 pounds

“What the hell,” I whispered to myself. I was annoyed. I didn’t understand why I gained weight after a workout like that. It upset me because it made me realize how far away my goal was. How much pain do I have to go through to make the numbers on the scale go down? It was a question I didn’t know the answer to.