We listen as Mom creeps up the stairs and passes my room on her way to her and Pop’s bedroom. After a while we hear the water in the master bathroom go on: she’s taking a shower. She didn’t bother to stop by the den to apologize to Pop for missing family night, even though she knows he’s still up. Pop must have heard the garage door, too. But he didn’t come out to talk to her.

I get a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. They aren’t fighting, so far as I know. But they aren’t exactly getting along.

Dear God, I think, even though I don’t know if I exactly believe in God. Please don’t let them break up.

“So tell me about this plan of yours,” Afton says to disrupt the silence that’s fallen over us.

I tell her. It’s embarrassing, talking about sex with my big sister. But the upside is that by the end of the conversation, my first-time-having-sex plan is much more solid than “show up at Leo’s swim meet.” Granted, it involves my sister explaining the delicate art of grooming one’s bikini area.

“Why do boys even think hair down there is gross?” I complain, pushing aside my earlier freak-out over my unshaved legs. “I mean, I don’t want to look like a little girl, do I? That’s creepy.”

“It’s a societal norm,” Afton says, shrugging. “Like we’re supposed to be Barbies.”

“I hate the patriarchy,” I sigh.

“I know. But we still have to live in it. I knew this girl at school who hooked up at a party one time, and afterward the guys in our circle started calling her ‘Hairy Mary.’”

“Ugh. Boys are awful.”

Afton nods. “Boys suck.” She looks genuinely upset for a minute.

“Not our boyfriends, though,” I add.

She only smiles sadly. I wonder if she’s thinking about that other party, the one with the college boys. She didn’t tell me what happened or act like it was any big deal, but I think it weighs on her sometimes, whatever it was. She’s not like me, eager to blab all about my feelings. Afton’s always kept her feelings to herself, mostly. Probably because she doesn’t want people to find out that she’s not perfect. Only she kind of is perfect.

I try to lighten the mood. “Well, this shaving/waxing thing doesn’t make any sense, because boys also seemed to be grossed out by vaginas. It’s like an insult now. You’re such a vagina. Your face looks like a vagina.”

Afton snorts. “Like the penis is so attractive. You know that phase where boys draw penises on everything?”

“That’s a phase?”