We take turns touching each other, cautiously, slowly, avoiding any area that feels too private, until I have a moment of bravery and grab his hand and put it on my breast.

His Adam’s apple jerks up and down. “Wow. These are . . .”

“Round?” I supply.

“And soft. And I’m pretty sure they have superpowers.”

He must be feeling braver, too, because he squeezes gently.

I feel a jolt low in my stomach. My breath catches. I am feeling very firmly centered in my body right now. No sense of disconnection. No floating out of myself.

Maybe I’m finally past the fear.

I scoot nearer in order to kiss him. His arm goes around my shoulder, pulling me even closer. Our legs bump, tangle. Our mouths open and our tongues touch tentatively. Heat flares all along my nerve endings.

He makes a sound like a laugh mixed with a groan.

“Can I touch you?” he asks hoarsely.

For a minute I’m confused. He is already touching me. But then I understand what he means.

“Yes,” I whisper, because I want him to.

He doesn’t, though. He touches my legs, up the insides of my thighs and down again. He brushes gently over my naval, my hip, back to my thigh. He touches everywhere but the spot I most want him to. Which only makes the sensation build up even more.

I sigh in a turned-on frustration. Then I realize that he’s doing it deliberately.

I pull back, my heart hammering. “You’ve been researching this, haven’t you?”

“Well, I aim to—” He can’t make himself finish the joke. “Is it okay?”

“Yes.” I shudder. “I want to touch you, too.” I’m distraught because I don’t have any moves, no special techniques that are going to make it better for him. “Can I touch you?”

His hand catches mine before it can. “I’d like that, but I don’t think I could handle it,” he says. “I don’t want it to end before we even really get started.”

“So let’s get started.”

His eyes flash up to my face. “Are you ready for that?”

My skin is hot and tingling, my insides made of boiling liquid, and I can feel my pulse in a part of my body where I’ve never felt it before. This is so much more than what I felt with Leo. If that isn’t ready, I don’t know what is. I take off my underwear and let it fall to the floor. “Yes,” I say simply. “Do you have the condom?”