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Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Dawn Goodwin
  3. WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Dedication
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. Acknowledgements
  55. About the Author
  56. An Invitation from the Publisher

He wrapped his arms around her and started crying into her shoulders, big gulping sobs. She staggered under the weight of him. Even Clive sat with his head on the side, wondering how they had gone from violence to emotional breakdown in ten seconds flat.

“Mills, let’s get him into a chair.”

Mills jumped forward to pull out the chair and Helen pushed him into it.

“She found the videos. On my phone – she said she was looking for a phone number, but I know she was checking up on me. I’d told her you had used me, told me I would be fired if I didn’t sleep with you.”

Helen rolled her eyes.

“Then she saw the videos and said it didn’t look like I needed much persuasion.” His shoulders shuddered. “And now she’s taken my little girl, says I can’t see her.”

“You slept with him?” Mills asked. “Really?”

Helen looked at him now, his head bowed so that you could see the start of a bald patch in his thinning dark hair, snot dripping from his nose and sweat stains on his dirty t-shirt, and she couldn’t understand why either.

She sighed and patted him on the shoulder awkwardly. Even Clive took a few tentative steps forward to sniff at him, then left to find a quiet corner somewhere else where there was less drama.

“Mum,” Mills insisted impatiently. “We need to go. This is more important than your boyfriend’s breakdown.” Helen heard the disappointment in Mills’ voice.

“Peter, I have to sort something out, but sit here, get yourself together, then go. You can’t be here. Give Sally some time, she might come around.” She patted him one more time for emphasis and he nodded around a sob. “Oh, and don’t ever come back – because if you do, I’ll hurt you.”

Helen walked away.

Once outside, she exhaled heavily and looked at Mills. “Don’t say a word, ok? We all make mistakes.”

38

THEN

I feel awful. I must have overdone the laxatives yesterday because my stomach is hard and sore. I’m light-headed, but also very headachey, a dull, constant thump behind my eyes. The morning light is glaring, not helping at all.

Typical. Today of all days. It’s the party tonight and I want to be at my best.

I crawl from bed and run a hot bath, hoping it will alleviate the cramps. I get on the scale and I’m pleased to see I have lost four pounds this week. So I was right in thinking my stomach was flatter. I twist and turn in front of the mirror while the water runs and steam fills the air, liking some of what I see and hoping I can disguise the bits I don’t.