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Back What I Never Told you
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Dawn Goodwin
  3. WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Dedication
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. Acknowledgements
  55. About the Author
  56. An Invitation from the Publisher

“Oh god,” she says, “I am so sorry,” then throws up into the bath. The puke is rancid in my nostrils and I swallow hard so that I don’t follow suit. I grab a towel from the laundry basket and throw it over the sick on the floor and manoeuvre her to the toilet before she wets herself too. She pulls down her pyjama bottoms and slumps heavily on the toilet. I look anywhere else.

“Oh god, do you hate me?” she says.

“Of course not, you silly cow. It’s fine.” I wipe up the sick as best I can, but my own head is spinning and my stomach lurches with every inhale.

I throw the towel in the bath and run the taps as Tracey hauls herself from the toilet. Pouring a glass of water at the sink, I hand it to her. “Here, drink this, then rinse your mouth out with the mouthwash over there.”

I close the curtains in the bedroom and pull back the covers on the queen-size bed. She staggers from the bathroom, swiping at her mouth, and collapses into the bed. I crawl beneath the covers with her, leaving a space between us, but she pulls me towards her, throws an arm over me, her feet intertwining with mine.

“I’m really glad I met you, Helen. I love you. I think we are going to be lifelong friends.”

“I’m really pleased I met you too.” I smile into the darkness.

Then her breathing slows, her body deflates and I know she has passed out.

I lie for a while, my head spinning from both the wine and the feeling of her lying so close. When Eloise sleeps over, we top and tail, so that we never actually touch at any point. She would snigger and call me gay if my foot even brushed hers.

But lying here with Tracey, it feels warm, comforting. I reach out and gently brush a curl from her face. A strand is caught in the corner of her mouth and I release it, smooth the skin on her cheek. She sighs in her sleep.

19

NOW

Helen had wandered through the last few days like a ghost, lacking substance and purpose. All she could think about was the photo, but she was struggling to process what it might mean. She hadn’t looked too closely at it, but it was still burned into her eyelids. She had stared at it like it was tainted, poisonous, then picked it up again with her fingertips and shoved it back where she assumed it had fallen from, appalled, disgusted, her mind swirling as she fled the room. Now she wished she had looked closer.

She had never seen the photo before, she was sure of it, but she knew who the girl was. The question was, why did Hugh have it?